Entries of Cali, & Nightmares

My huge rant about United are still missing.

Blah.

So I’ve been having bad dreams a lot lately. World Ending type dreams. Now I know I’ve mentioned that I’ve had dreams that come true, and I cant tell that except for the extremely strong feeling I get about the dream after. So far I dont think my nightmares have had this extremely strong feeling, until the one I had last night. Im not saying this is a dream that will come true, just that it was a dream that when I woke up I remember every detail, something unusal for me. The only thing that makes me feel as if this dream isnt one that will come true is the fact I was near my house I grew up in, in Huntington Beach. Usually when I dream that Im at that house or near it, its my own subconscous working itself out.

But let me tell you this dream. I was at the park across the street from where I grew up, they had rebuilt the slides there into this huge playground type thing, was really nicely done, very spanish architure and colors. I was sitting in this slide playground thing, and waiting for a friend to get on to AIM, so I can discuss a project Im working with in my LARP group. I looked up from my lap top and I found I was looking at a plane, it was short and fat in length and silver, I assumed it was American Airlines since they have a gray color theme. I watched it bank really low around the park and do it again. I was wondering if it was going to crash land someplace when I noticed it turned and pointed straight up and started to go up fast kinda like a Rocket. Then suddenly I noticed it started to fall, and I realized it wasn’t a rocket going up, but a bomb. I watched almost in slow motion falling and crashing realizing this was it, there was nothing I could do to get away from dying. I just watched it explode watched the ring it makes from above myself, then I was back to my own body, feeling the pain of dying. Feeling myself seperate from my mortal body, slipping away from life.

I then realized I was concentrating on my rapid breathing, feeling myself laying on my stomach, no pain, just my heart racing. So terrified of my dream, I had to force myself to peak my eyes open to be sure I was in my own bed.

Very frightening.

Happening more frequently, just two nights ago, I had the fish tank dream, woke up in that paniced feeling I get from it.

Really wish I could afford to see a therapist, the nightmares are happening way to frequent for something not to be ok emotionally with me.