Insecurities

Jas phoned while Justin and I were at Olive Garden with Brian and Pam.  Had to reschedual the trip to the zoo planned for today for next week. No big deal I understand that she’s unsure about her family being ok with her being gone all day.

When I spoke with her she was going to crash at my house after the party still.  Got an email, not happening.

Ok, either something is terribly wrong with me, or Doherty is talking in her ear about being my friend, or I’m just feeling insecure.

So the email stated that her mom was ok with her staying out really late but not to stay at my house because her mom has something to do Saturday and wants Jas to help out.

Ok, I know not everyone is going to have the kind of parents as everyone else, but really when your 25 years old don’t you think that you could be an adult? Even having had to return to her parents because she busted up with a boyfriend.  Damn.

So this is making feel really insecure about the kind of person I am.  I really really wish I had a female friend to hang out with, and I am going to hate Doherty if he is the one blowing smoke into her ears about me.  It’ll piss me off to no end.

arg….

I don’t even know how to deal out my feelings on this, I’m jsut frustrated, and don’t know how to figure out what to do. Like would it be bad to actually just flat out ask or just not deal with it and wait and see.

:: sighs ::  Well at least seeing Pam was cool.  Found out said friend of hers that I didn’t really care for has to work and won’t be at the party.  She was supposed to join us for dinner last night, thankfully (at least to me) she stood us up.

So I ordered something through a site and it was supposed to be shipped priority mail, which means it should have arrived by tomorrow afternoon.  ARG, that frustrates me as well as its a prop for my Garou game, and part of a plot that is focusing on me right now.  I was really hoping to get it in the mail today.  Some Magic the Gathering cards haven’t come in either and its been nearly two weeks.  I emailed the seller to ask about them.  Spent $78 so the 12 decks better arrive soon.  I tend to prefer playing with pre constructed decks despite having enough cards to build my own. I’ve put together an elf deck and its a great deck, and the "Cat & Dog" deck I built last night is ok, but not really holding up.  It’s full of Lions, Tigers, Cat Warriors, Wolfs and Hounds, its pumped up with enchants and a bit of a combo that I think if I can get it out even once (I’ve got it available twice in the deck) that I could probably kick butt and not worry about taking names.  When I tested it out last night it lost, I played against Jamie so to be sure that it would be tested right, as Jamie is a hard nose player.  I tweaked it this morning and put the combo in, so it needs to be played against to test it further.  I think I need to hunt down some cheap manna dogs and cats, like 1/1’s that cost 1 green mana.  It is an all green deck, not exactly what I planned, but if it doesn’t work as it is, I’ll pull out other cats and dogs and make it a rainbow deck.

LOL, most my regular readers will have no clue what I was just saying, but its a card game, came out before pokemon, but that type of game.

I started rambling because I didn’t want to confront how I felt about the Jas situation, nor did I want to get myself worked up and wound up about it, so I don’t over react either.