Looking back

As I look back on past entries I wonder exactly where life has taken me. So much has changed since I began this OD. Am I a better person since the start of this? Have I honestly learned anything except pain?

I contemplate the importance of keeping my life written down so that I can look back and see it as if I couldnt remember it all on my own. It pains me greatly to see the things I didnt see coming. The way I allowed myself to open up to someone who I should never have done so with.

I sit here about to make some of the largest changes in my life. Im moving. Four hours away from where I live now. Starting a new job for my company as a Data Communications Tech. To say the least Im terrified. My heart is pounding and all my fears and worries are like huge. Im training in Sacremento, no where near where I live now or where IM going to live, so in a month I have just the weekends to pack to find a new apartment and to move. On top of nursing my heart for being away from Joey.

::sighs:: Im bi-polar depressive and this stress is really causing me to go to a downward swing. Im scarred and hate change, and to make matters worse I am the one who chose this change. ::takes a deep breath to slow the panic in her::

If you dont see me for a month you know what is happening… Joey will give you an update soon…