My last entry on Him.

::sighs:: This is my last entry on Byron, or so Im hoping.. It simply the words to the song I sent him because it is exactly how I feel on the situation…

Ex-Factor

Lauryn Hill

It could all be so simple
But you’d rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you cant stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It aint working, It aint working
And when I try to walk away
You’d hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy, this is crazy

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just cant be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I’ll let go too
Cause no one’s hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me

There for me, there for me
Said you’d be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me
You said you’d die for me

Give to me, give to me
Why wont you live for me.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

I could go on to explain exactly how the song fits or the way I see it does, but I wont. I changed all my entries to Safe notes because “she” since Ive been asked not to use her name anymore… though its here and nothing she can do about it…. anyhow she left a note I had to delete. I got a nasty letter from “she’s” friend “her” That I would call harrassment. Its bad enough “she” stole Byron away from me knowing he had a girlfriend, but to have her bother me now. I actually have not been talking to her since Byron asked me not to. But then I get this damn f*ing email. I’d like to change the nick so they will leave me alone but Im not even going to bother Im sure Byron will get it again somehow, his own OD favorites, so it stays.

I hate it how one day we are on really good terms then he finds away to try and piss me off. Byron actually tried telling me tonight that Joey had a problem with me using real names. Why would Joey care, when I talk about him? In only say good things about Joey and well, I think it would make more sense that Joey is glad I’m willing to tell the world his name and not hide it.

Last time I let Byron’s comments get to my insecurities it didnt really work because Joey told me he had talked to Byron anyhow. ::sighs::

Let’s see… Joey ::smiles closing her eyes half way:: Yes… hmmm…… ::continues thinking about Joey and forgets OD:::