Supposed to be all about death

But Im not really in the mood to talk about it. I am feeling way more…. left out? I guess that’s how I could describe it. Mike, my “cool” roommate starting dating one of our friends, Kelly. Kelly and I were talking tonight what each or our guys was like, as most females friends will do when they are talking with their female friends. So we were talking about all the good things about Mike as a boyfriend, mostly because its a new relationship and well when you are in a new relationship you usually talk more than the friend who’s been in her’s for awhile. So, it really makes me think about me and Justin, and I feel left out. Justin’s not overly affectionate and I really miss that. I tell him and he doesnt really try. Not to be explicit, but sex it the same way. Don’t get me wrong the sex it great, but it lacks in emotions. The physical act is satisfying but I don’t feel it is emotionally there for me and Justin. It almost makes me feel like I really just do not want to have sex. Almost like a chore.

I’ve tried explaining this to Justin as well, but he’s not really tried to make any changes.

I love Justin, but sometimes I wonder if he’s right for me because Im making a lot of changes in myself, many for good, for him, but there are a few things Im giving up that are like deeply a part of me. Like the romantic side, and that lacks. He wont listen to any slow music, because supposidly anything he doesnt like gives him a headache. He’s so closed minded. So no slow music keeps romantic music out of the bedroom. It also leaves things so I don’t get to slow dance with him. We never do anything to get dressed up and go out. That takes a lot away from special things.

So, I really do not know what to do with anything. I do love Justin, but talking to Kelly has made me realize how much I have given up about my love life side for Justin.

Yeah so Im feeling a bit down. A bit left out.