The Earth Stood and Walked away

For some odd reason that seemed the most important thing in my dream last night. I was climbing this hillside, that a castle was protected by (it was in the hill, not behind it). I was trying to get into the wall of the castle so that I would be safe and suddenly the dirt and grass beneath me started to move. As I clentched my fists into the grass and dirt the earth beneath me stood up. Literally stood up, I could not see the bottom of the earth as it stood, it seemed I was on its head, or shoulder as it stood. But I was not scared of anything but falling. Despite the earth coming to life I felt it was protecting me and the castle inside of it. It started to walk around, stomping on the things that I was running from, then I noticed it stepping into the ocean, at first I was worried that it would step to the bottom and I was not ready to hold my breath, but even though it stepped into the water no matter where it stepped it was always tall enough that we could not fall beneath the water’s surface.

Yeah intriguing dreams. Still very vivid.

Friday night and I can not seem to find anything to do. It seems my life has gotten very boring, and I am in serious needs of friends that do not just want to sit at home and do nothing. Its very boring to sit and just do nothing, and I know there are cheap things to do, like going bowling and playing pool, dollar show, anything but sitting at home doing nothing.

I want a life again, it makes me feel old to have nothing to do at all but be at home, its something my parents do. ::sighs::

Oh, and I want to rant about something, I recently read in someone’s OD about biggotry, and I commented that he was doing the same thing by name calling those who had offended him. I got a reply note saying if I can not say something nice to not reply. So I won’t its not that big a deal, but truely, if you are going to rant and rave in your OD, I know its your right, but it was about people talking cruely about something in front of someone they did not realize was part of the group they were making fun of. I know it happens to us all, I’ll be sitting someplace and someone will make a comment about being spanish or hispanic, and by looking at me with my blonde hair and blue eyes you would never guess at my ancestry. I do not like it when people choose to be biggots or jerks, and I know I’ve come back to my OD to rant and rave, but I always accept the notes that will come with it, good or bad. Not everyone is going to feel sympathetic towards you in your diary. Either learn to go with it, and learn from other’s viewpoints, or stay ignorant like the ones you just ranted about.

Ok random rant over with.

Hey did I mention my Bear lost two of his kitten teeth? Yup, he’s becoming a big kitty now with his two front bottom canine’s changed from milk teeth to adult teeth> WOOHOO! For awhile there he was looking like a demon cat with two sets of fangs on the bottom. Im hoping the top ones are still milk teeth and will have adult ones come in as well. His top canine on his left is really badly grown in and kinda points to the other top canine. Yup sideways. So if its a milk tooth the adult one might come in straight. Only thing I can do is wait and see.

I think the vet who originally looked him over before he went up for adoption might have misguessed his age. I think he’s younger than they said. Cats usually by the time they are six months old have their full set of adult teeth, but Im sure he’s still got milk teeth. I think instead of the four months they said he was when we adopted him Im thinking he was actually two months. I think he’s just barely coming up on four months. Then again I do not know how to figure out the age of them so I myself could be wrong.

He’s healthy and happy though, and learning so much about life. He’s discovered tuna 🙂 Now when I open a can he mau’s and mau’s and mau’s for some hehe, I created a mau monster.

So I’ve typed and written an entry and the bored monster still has me. ::sighs::

Is it bad that I actually want to do something with someone else other than just Justin. Mind you I want him to come along, but I do not want to do something with just him. I was wondering if this is common in a relationship when you live together.. I hope so, mostly because, well Justin just wants to stay at home too, like our other friends. Blah. I wanna do something.. ANYTHING to be a bit social. I dont feel social very often and when I do I’d like to well be social ;P

Got my box of goodies from my mom. Im behind in my student loan payment, and owe them $150, that’s three months behind. Not good, not good. I need to find a way to get them to send me the bill directly instead of to my mom’s house, but I dont have a number on it I can call. I owe some hospital in Costa Mesa money, which is not understandable since I was sure that when I was in the inpatient program that they were supposed to bill my insurance directly. Im pissed because it will give me bad credit, actually it already has since its now in a collection agency. ::sighs:: Im not sure if I can get this straightened out either, because Im no longer covered. I was then, so it should still cover it, but blah… I hate stress like this.

I also need to find a way to get that divorce from Ryan. If I died he would get money from Social Security, a lot of money each month. Enough money that he wouldnt have to work if he didnt want to. Over $2 a month, I wonder if I would get the same from him if he died, I wonder what kind of money he’s got in Social Security. Hrm. Well not that I wish him dead, I just wish him not attached to my name. I dont like the fact that he’s got my SSN, and my old Ca driver’s licence number. I trusted him way way too much, and Im not sure I trust him at all now. Flark, for all I know he could be getting stuff in my name (as a married name) with my information. Hrm I wonder if I should put that flag stuff on my information, something you can do when you try to apply for any line of credit if you think someone is using your information fraudlently.

Lots of things I should think about. Im going to get a full credit report and see where I owe money, so I can just get things paid off and clean up my life. I really need to do that badly.