Flashy-Back

Fucking elemental.  Burning suicide ring, bomb patterns in time repeating repeating fractured and breaking like ice.  Lets get real real calm and quiet and cold.  Lets get so calm and quiet and cold, we shrink into nothingness, until we disappear, because thats just the way it is.  I saw a lunatic last night and it made me wonder, am I crazy. And it made me wonder what made King do it.  So King puts a bag over his fucking head and dies.  That’s real nice buddy.  Real nice.

Before I ever did drugs, I remember driving in my old red truck and hearing familiar voices.  They weren’t exceptionally clear, but there they were nonetheless.  Voices of loved ones, whispering next to me, not at me, but at the world outside of the empty passenger side window.

I cried a little last night.  I was driving home with Rachel sitting next to me.  We saw Black Swan, and it got me thinking about my old roommate who killed himself.  I don’t know why I got so upset.  Eh…whatever.  I dunno.

It was really nice having Rachel there.  She didn’t have to do anything…just be there, hold me, and let me know that she loves me.  And that’s what she did.

When we got home, we cuddled and watched Talladega Nights to get rid of the really creepy creeper thoughts from Black Swan.