Whiskey weekend beginning or end?

So about a month ago I ended a 10 yr situation-ship.It happens .The magic wears off .Time changes us and the things we are looking for in life.

Some people would have said that we were in a relationship while others would say it was a 5 year relationship with +5 years of friendship. I would say I loved him and I was very stupid . Stupid to stay around and wait for him to make good on his bullshit promises . He had been working away from home for over a year. He would make excuses for why he couldn’t make it home . Finally he just stopped texting and calling. He was just gone. I called him and told him I was done. He would say that he would always be my friend and that I deserve to be happy. I would agree and tell him I changed the locks to our apartment. I would tell him I would send him his things and say a tearful goodbye.

That he could call me his friend was such bullshit! Yet it was exactly what I thought he would say to me. nnb

Oh well and fast forward to now..

I would get to a place where I would need to act out. Thus far going through the motions of an empty life I knew I needed to numb this invisible pain.I got up and went to work and paid the bills and made idol chitchat with friendly acquaintances in passing.

I went to get a hair cut, walked in a blonde and out of the salon with flaming red hair. I bought some red pants to match and invited a friend out to a local bar. The funny part was it was a place called New Directions. I was in hunt for whiskey and hell bent to rehab my hurt heart by acting ratchet .

The band was alright , the friend maybe unaware of my need for self destruction. She was like Knob creek? I was make mine a double. We made polite conversation at the bar.. Hit the dance floor and then more of that blessed drink. Then I saw him. I knew he was the perfect specimen of testosterone and eyes that sparked my interest. I approached leading with the line I whispered in his ear.. “Are you my next mistake”? His expression was perfection. I gave no time for response as I slid away and found a seat a safe distance away.. Now my friend a great wing woman and fair co-conspirator walked over and introduced herself . She said I don’t know what to his buddy at the bar but before I knew it he stood up and walked over and sat down next to me. He offered me his massive hand and introduced himself as Don. A solid name with a solid handshake. Oh his hand .. I knew I was near whiskey wasted but I also knew he was interested enough to add his number to my contact list.

The conversation was polite but to later quote him He found me intriguing. He left at some point and said friend said its time to go home ..I agreed as gravity began to fuck with me. As we were leaving he came back and I told him he was coming with me . We would end up back at my place ..The three of us .. I was no sooner in the door than I began to crumble , from the booze, the emotional exhaustion. I pulled off the shoes and hit my bed to which My friend said its time to go.. No rage sex or whiskey fucking for me that night.

I was pretty sure it was over before it began ..But then  I drunk texted him at 5 a.m. He began to take shape in my mind as a person and no longer a man I meant to objectify as meat. Damn it!!

I would wander drunkenly to the freezer for pizza that I apparently would try to cook in the shower , somewhere between both the physical and emotional vomit.I would wake up to that mess and wonder WHAT THE FUCK happened hours later.

He would text me back that he was in search of food as I would cuddle deeper into my blessed pillow. I would make mention I would need to fulfill that for myself. Sustenance for sure to feed the hurt from this hangover .We would agree via text to meet in my neck of the woods at my favorite Mexican joint . The seeing him in the sober light of day was daunting but I felt the need to see how effectively my whiskey goggles had worked the night before. I wasn’t disappointed by the face that greeted me.

Lunch lasted 4 hrs and continued to drinks at the bar.He was funny and sweet and easy to talk too.Back to my place  we would go ,but not for carnality but for innocent cuddling . We would watch 3 movies and sleep off the night before on my couch . He was a perfect gentleman which left me to wonder where this intended rebound would go?He left at 3 am and I would go to sleep happy and tired. Less angry at the world and very confused about what came next.