meh…

It’s hard. It’s hard being there when he’s on the phone with her. But, when I’m not there it’s harder. He still says he loves her…does he mean it? Is he maybe playing me…

He wouldn’t do that to me…

Would he?

No. I just need to not think. I think to much into these things you know? Sometimes I wish he’d just leave her because she doesn’t deserve him. He’s an awesome guy. I may not deserve him either but hey, I’ll treat him better than her. 

I miss him already. I’m going home for break and he’s staying on campus. I’m going to miss him for an entire week! He’s hugs and kisses and teasing (the not sexy kind) and the teasing (the sexy kind ;P ), and the amazing, mind-blowing, rock my world sex. 

Today I was laying next to him. And he just out of no where started to play with me. His hands roamed my body. He fingered me and teased me. For no reason. I’m not used to that. I’m used to the whole I’ll touch you when we have sex kinda thing you know? I miss just being loved by a man. Having a guy play with you because he enjoys it. I’ll do a little something in return for him tomorrow. You know me and my blow jobs lol ;). Anyway..

Yea we’ve been pretty good together. When we’re together its awesome. When we’re not we miss each other. I miss him like crazy right now and he left maybe 10 minutes ago. 

He’s amazing. Just wish I could show him what a real, good girlfriend is like. I grown so much in these last few months. I mean sure I’ll probably make some mistakes but I’ll be better than I was.

Lol I get jealous with him. Whenever he hugs another girl or something I get all possessive. Its funny. I control it of course but it’s kinda funny. 

I need a guy like him in my life. 

Is it too early to say I love you? 

I think it is.

Oh well. 

I hope he truly, genuinely likes me. I’ll be crushed if he’s just playing me. I don’t need another asshole in my life leaving me for some other girl. 

Maybe one day he’ll choose me. 

Probably not…As I said many times before

I’m nothing special….not someone to leave a girlfriend for anyway. 

I wish we were together. Probably wont ever be though. I’m not that special. I wish I was but whatever…just gunna work with what was given to me I guess. 

A girl can try…..

Too tired for this..

I’m going to bed. Night everyone leave notes!

 *Sandra*