Simply Amazing

Yesterday was just an amazing day. I spent most of it with Daniel just chilling and goofing off. He drives me crazy. He’s so sweet and so sexy at the same time. He loves the way I react to everything. He found out that I like to be thrown around and kind of roughed up and so he kind of let that dominent side of him come out a little. It was so hot. He’s just an awesome person to be around. 

We spent all of yesterday together talking. Then while I was with him Alex IMed me and was like why don’t you ever text me anymore? So I basically told him that I don’t anything for him anymore. He took it a little hard but I guess it’s for the best. Then Daniel was like if you wanna talk about anything I’m always here to listen. So we had a really long talk about my past. I told him about my mom, all of my exes, and even Ivan (probably the first guy I legit fell for and never talk about because it still hurts a little). 

He says the sweetest things. Like last night he sighed and I was like whats up? And he said something like "I don’t want to be just another guy in your life." 

I think he might have also said I love you. But I’m not sure. I was really tired and it was 430 in the morning I could have (and most likely did) dream it or imagine it or something. 

I fell hard for this kid. Really hard. I’m not sure how he feels about me though.

He says all these really nice and sweet things but my stupid insecure dark side constantly whispers in my ear, "What if he’s lying? What if he doesn’t care and is just having fun?" I have issues trusting people. I trust easily and don’t at the same time. I trust people with my heart but I don’t ever trust whether or not they are going to really care for it.

It’s a little contridictory I know and I wish I had a better way to describe it. I’m uber cautious with my heart because I’ve had it stepped on and broken so many times. Daniel has a big piece of it. I trust him with it. 

He called me beautiful. When I guy genuinely calls you beautiful the way he did…there has to be something there right?

But, then again, who am I kidding. He has a girlfriend. Why would he like me? I’m nothing special. 

*sigh* I wish he liked me. I think we could really have something amazing together. 

Maybe I should back off….I feel like I’m confusing him…I mean he has a girlfriend. I remember being kind of confused when I was seeing Eric while dating Alex. Maybe I should just stop. I don’t want him hurting. He really big on loyalty (he’s a Taurus) and this is probably eating him cheating on his girlfriend. I don’t know. 

I’m scared I’m just a girl who he can have fun with to him. That would suck if that was all I am to him while I’m practically falling in love with him. I’m willing to risk it but it doesn’t mean I’m not a little scared…well really scared.

I want to think he likes me but my dark insecure side keeps telling me he doesn’t….like I said why would he? He has a girlfriend and I’m nothing special. I’m not worth leaving someone for. I’m just good for a good time. 

Anyway I’m gunna go I’ll write more later. 

Still I had an awesome night with him. He’s amazing in every way….kind of everything I’ve always wanted in a guy.

Leave notes!

 *Sandra*