Still not over it

So I’m kind of convinced that Eric does not like me at all anymore. Like even one of my friends saw it. You know how when guys like you..they give you that look? Yea I don’t get that anymore. It’s heart breaking really. I almost hate him for it. I don’t just have sex with anyone. Like for me, sex is a pretty big deal. I put a lot of trust into it and it’s like, "Well I had sex with you and now you don’t even like me anymore? I wasted my god damned time didn’t I? I added another guy to my short list of guys I’ve had sex with for absolutely no reason." I tried to keep that list as short as possible but its like I already made two mistakes. Kenny was just a horrible disgusting mistake that I never want to relive ever again. I thought I would never regret having sex with Eric…but in all honesty..I’m really starting to. I thought maybe more would come out of it. I thought we’d continue being a sort of couple but like he just dropped me so easily. I literally just feel incredibly used. I know that wasn’t his intention. I know he didn’t try to use me because he’s not that kind of guy but its just how I feel. And stupid me still likes him. Even though he dropped me quicker than anything when Amira came around I still like him. I need to just let go. 

I wish I could just forget everything about him. I wish we never got intimate like that. I wish I didn’t fall so hard. Why does every guy feel the need to leave me for some other girl? Why am I never good enough for anyone? 

I’m just going to go to bed. Night

 *Sandra*