maybe I’ll start using this again

I’ve hit a very interesting time in my life. I’m transitioning from being a government slave to a civilian with no job security and real-life problems.

I came out here to Oregon in a mad rush because I just needed to get out of Virginia for a while, and I think I am going to treat my time out here as if it’s the most ephemeral thing I’ve done. Call it a vacation, if you will, but a vacation it certainly is not. Right now, I am sleeping on the couch at Rachel’s (my ex, yes, that one) apartment in SE Portland. Her roommate is transgendered Male-to-Female. It’s a learning experience for me. The only other time that I’ve been around a trans person was back at Purdue. There was a friend of a friend that was Female-to-Male, but I only met him once or twice. It just feels a little odd to me to be calling someone “she” when I know for a fact that a penis still exists on the person’s body. I mean, she has boobs from taking hormones… needless to say, I’m out of my element here.

I did manage to find a job out here at a 24-hour convenience store within walking distance of the apartment, so I can definitely start saving up soon to take my Road Trip of Massively Huge Proportions back east. I want to have at least $1,000 in the bank, if not more, and if I’m working full-time, I can bet that I’ll have that before Thanksgiving.

I was feeling a little nostalgic last night (living here has been doing that to me), so I emailed Canadian Emily to see how she was doing. Still no word back, but I don’t really expect one. We only talk once in a blue moon, and the past few times I’ve been drunk or high or on uppers, so that probably discourages her from talking to me because I get so emotional when I’m in an altered state of consciousness, and I ask very personal, deep, probing questions about the relationship and what went wrong and why I can never see her again and so on.

Well, I do believe Rachel is about to get home from work, so I’ll call this the end of the new beginning.