Loopy over lupus

Entry #1  I suppose I just introduce myself. My name is Kym. I’m 35 years old and a mother to a beautiful, pain in the tush son. I was born and raised in Melbourne where I survived with my aunt, uncle and ten cousins who would later be my brothers. My mom is a drug addict. She spent my whole life lying to me, stealing from me and cheating me out of ever meeting my real father. She told me the man she was married to was my father until I was 23 years old. She still denies my real father and even tells me he was abusive. I don’t believe her and would love to meet him some day. I’m a two time cancer survivor you see and it would be nice to know if my dad has any knowledge of that. It made for a rough childhood. I didn’t get to be a kid really. When I was here during one of my visitations, I had to go to school. That’s where I met my soul mate. His name is Tony. He was the only kid that seemed to like me in first grade. I was sad to leave after getting to spend a few months with actual friends. He would re-enter my life a few times later on. I eventually was stuck with my mom. I hated her and everything about her life. She is a hypochondriac and OCD…. Terrible combo. She also likes to hoard things and she didn’t have any domestic skills. I had to get a job early because my useless step father was never able to keep a job or take care of us. I eventually got to move out which made chemo treatment difficult. I usually had to walk… Alone to and from because I was too sick to drive. I was dating a guy at the time who was mentally and spiritually abusive. I eventually left him with the help of a friend I met while paintballing. He was good to me for a long time. Tony came back in to my life after a bout in the army. He wasn’t the same soul I remembered and it strained our friendship for a time. He was also into partying and doing crazy drugs. I still had fallen madly in love with him, remembering the cute little boy he was and how kind he was to me. Anyway the guy I was with cheated on me and we eventually parted ways. I hooked up with a couple guys after that but then Tony came back into my life and well he was still being a little bit of a jerk to me, he was showing signs of PTSD. We started growing closer and eventually got pregnant. Oops. It was quite a miracle though. We both used contraceptives and I was shortly post cancer so I shouldn’t of been able to conceive. Tony and I went different ways though. His mom was soon diagnosed with brain cancer and he went into a downward spiral. When she passed without ever meeting her grandson, he snapped. He left to be with horrible people while I struggled with being a single mom and newly diagnosed with lupus. I was bitter and still can be on some days. It wasn’t until July of 2019 that Tony showed an interest in our son or me for that matter. I still hurt from what felt like my heart being ground to dust over years of loneliness and being apart from who I thought was my soul mate. We kept talking and I started planning another visit. Covid happened and I was living with a controlling roommate. We still went through with the trip and Tony and our son confirmed DNA. It was then that we became family. My roommate couldn’t stand for our trip and Anthony suggested we finally act like a family. That’s where I am today. With Tony and our son. I still have doubts but I’m working through them. Anyhow.. Lupus… It’s a terrible disease. I was first diagnosed two years ago. It was rough. They put me on Plaqinel and that stuff messed me up so horribly. I’m not sensitive to sunlight. I hurt… All the time. I have no energy to play with my son. I’m allergic to everything it seems and I can’t wear my rings because my fingers swell.  Well today I had a doctor appointment and the doctor tells me my lupus isn’t active according to my blood but I tell him about the night sweats and the joint pain, the sun blisters I had, the depression… And he goes “oh, I’d call that active alright”… But the blood told him otherwise so he wants more tests and x-rays and I need to diet and go gluten free, low carb, low cholesterol… Essentially don’t eat what I eat. So it’s a struggle because Tony and our son don’t want chicken and veggies every night. We’re Italian… We eat pasta… Lots and lots of pasta. I need help with keto food. I don’t have money for expensive apps and subscriptions. I need help.

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February 9, 2021

Hey there, my birth mother was the same way… she was a druggie and wouldn’t talk about Dad so I ended up giving the fuck up on her. I met my ex fiance through school… but my bloody foster mother broke us up. I would have married him too. 🙁 🙁



February 9, 2021

@sleepydormouse thanks for the keto pasta recipes. Sucks to think that the person who is supposed to love you would be the worse person in your life. Glad I’m not alone

February 9, 2021

@ksteph No problem Kym. I am Sammy btw. 🙂

February 17, 2021

I’m sorry your life has been so rough.  My father was a functioning drug addict and I remember having to be careful going through his pockets in case of needles before his suit jackets went to be dry-cleaned.

I am also disabled with a chronic diagnosis.  I am in pain all the time, day and night.  I know you know how that is.

I try very hard to focus on other things, as I know you try your best to focus on your son.  You are already a better mother than your mother was.  Hang in there.

February 17, 2021

@novembercirese thanks. It’s definitely a struggle

April 12, 2021

Hello, my mom was abusive emotionally, OCD with some hoarding, along with controlling and suffering many mental illnesses that she refused to see and take meds for.

I’ve been struggling getting an official diagnosis of Lupus. Ever since I was a teenager it has always been a major possibility. I gave up with doctors and now I’m back to needing them with all my health issues. My blood comes back all the time saying Lupus, but my doctors have these boxes of what it could be, RA, Lupus, and I am unsure of the other autoimmune diseases they’re thinking of.

I am getting treated as if I have Lupus, and my medication helps a bit. It’s frustrating here. I’m glad your doctors aren’t like mine and can help you.
I wish you the best!