Depressed

Well since I havent worte in a long time, I guess Ill start with my brother passed Janurary 8 2009.  I have been taking care of my mom for years now, Just help Julie buy a new house..  Things were really going good, but I made the mistake of taking a girl to a concert and lying to Antoinette about it.  I should of just told her the truth now I have hurt to the point she wants nothing to do with me.  I thought maybe I could get a chance to do right and believe me if I could I would take it all back cause she was my everything other than my daughter and my family.  It sucks ive seen couple work through worst, I truely hate myself.  Im sort of dating the girl i went to the concert with only cause she is totally supporting me and helping me get through this, but deep down I know I cant give her my heart.  My friend Franqulin who is 40 and the best of friends..  She helps me through this cause she went through the same thing with her ex.  But I know in time ill be fine she had 2 months to get over me so I can see how she is doing better than me.  Im just happy im not drinking or taking pills..  Franqulin says its not worth it and plus I wouldnt jeopardize our friendship for it plus these are the times i really love and need her support plus she is a great person in general.  Well Im off to a bbq with Sarah, wish jerry would just quit calling its really annoying. But ill be back to write more later…