I know i needed help

So yeah, hi if you’re reading this I know I needed help cause I can’t stop self-harming. Apparently, I’m really hesitant to talk to my friends about it and I have no other social media platform to unload this. I used to cut my wrist, slit them whenever I feel too much or too little. Just basically when breakdowns and anxiety attacks come. I’m aware that it is not good for you. It will never be good for anyone. So in my response, I just hit the wall for a change. I punch them till my fist can. You see, there are a lot of risks with this since I can’t stop myself. I always have the urge to hurt myself. Whenever I promised myself not to do it again, my body discovers a new way to hurt myself. Every time the attacks come I find ways not to give in. Believe me or not I’m doing my best. That’s why I’m here because I now bit myself. Yes, you read that right. I bit myself till it bruises or bleeds. And this is all because I wanna reduce the risk of me, breathing my last breath unintentionally here on earth. If my cut and slits on my wrist gone too far I could die. And if I punch the wall too hard instead, I could end up with a broken hand. I love art, I paint and draw so I don’t wanna have a broken hand. I hate to say this but biting myself is actually my best choice as of now. I know I needed help but the only thing that I can have is myself. She may be outnumbered but at least I have her whole.