Courtesy

I can’t sleep, but I knew this would happen. We both fell asleep around 8PM on the same pillow and when I woke up hours later, he won’t move and I have no room on the bed. Doesn’t matter I suppose, insomnia doesn’t care about bed space.
After a long and frustrating week last week, I decided to skip my classes on Thursday and drive to Tahoe by myself. It was really gorgeous, the mountains and the clean air. I could see for miles, no smog to ruin the view. I really went just because I needed some time alone to think, think about what I want and what I want to do. By the time I came home a few hours later, I was really at peace with a lot of stuff, and since then I haven’t had any complete emotional and nervous breakdowns. Since I’m pacing 1-2 a week for the past few months, this is a step in the right direction.
Sacramento is still horrible and I still hate it every single day, but it’s been raining and cool outside and I’ve been wearing flip flops and skirts. I love the rain. It’s not like Seattle, it’s not two months of nonstop rain, where you end up wanting to kill yourself to see color. It’s two days of rain followed by a day of cool sun, so I can wear my scarves and hoodies but still walk about in flip flops and be happy.
Though, I’m sick now, so I’m debating whether walking around in flip flops and skirts through the pouring rain and wind the past few weeks has been the best idea.
When I was driving to Tahoe I stopped to get gas at some backward mountain town gas station. When I went inside to pay for it, all the men that were in line gave up their spot so I could go ahead of them, even though I insisted at least a dozen times it wasn’t necessary. Someone almost bumped into me as I was walking out and they stopped and said excuse me. In those five minutes spent in the gas station, people exhibited more courtesy and decency to me than in the entire four months since we moved here. It made me really happy that there are still nice people in the world, but then upon reflection, made me sad that none of them live within an hours drive away from me.

Time to attempt more sleep.