Twice Thursday

I’m getting ready to close the book on Thursday for the second time. This has, officially, been the longest day of my life in every meaning of the word. I left theboy’s room at 6:40AM, watching the sun rise and the snow fall around us, everything seemed so calm that I felt out of place, like a hurricane in Kansas just churning under the surface.
Two hours of bus and an hour of teary goodbyes later, I sit on the bench with my skirted knees pulled into my chest, waiting for you to decide that you can’t make it without me and come running back to me, never to leave my side ever again until eternity. Part of me is glad to see you leave early instead of staying with me for another few hours, I was tottering on the edge of being ridiculously emotional and if you would have stayed, I imagine it would have gotten worse. It doesn’t really occur to me that I’m leaving you this time, not the other way around.
And he never comes back. I wait, and wait, but he never comes back. So I spend the majority of the time waiting for plane to board with my face shoved against the marble bathroom walls, just trying to breathe.
When I took off from Tokyo I watched the sun set over top of the clouds, it was pink and orange with hints of blue and wasn’t distinct in any other way than it was my first airplane sunset. Seven hours and an international dateline later, I watched the sun rise on Thursday again, this time in shades of blue and white, over the pacific ocean clouds.

When approaching landing in Seattle I felt so anxious, like it was a second hand lover that I had been away from for far too long. Thursday is coming to an end for the second time, the sun already set and now I sit and wait, counting the days until I can see my boy again.
It’s going to be a long three and a half months.