come take the light to darker parts…

You know those days where you just feel absolutely huge? Even just looking at yourself, you can’t believe you weigh the same as you weighed yesterday? I just felt so massive today. I so strongly dislike body fat, its just gross. Dammit. And yet, what did I do? Have a smoothie, a handful of jellybeans, and some pieces of chocolate? I’m such a ho. *sighs*

This weekend’s been really cool, though. Last night Beth and I looked at gay porn for over an hour, and tonight we played an online penguin killing game and listened to Clay Aiken sing sappy songs as the penguin’s head splattered on the computer screen. It really doesn’t get much cooler than that–well, unless the circumstances surrounding the weekend don’t involve finals week. Fuck. I CANNOT fucking believe its 1:40 am on the Sunday night before finals. ‘Scuse me, SO not allowed. I’m so hosed in bio if I don’t get at least a B on this final, and that may well not happen….NOT THINKING about that, not thinking about that lalalalalala….*grins* I’m such a child. 😛

Sometimes I feel almost interesting, and different–like she values me for who I am and what I can bring to a situation. Other times I think it would be better for all of us if I crawled into a hole and stayed there. What can you do–at least I HAVE those good times, right? And I know that those feelings don’t come from them, but rather from me. I’m working on it.

I cannot WAIT to go home. Please.

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free