sighs

http://www.opendiary.com/entryview.asp?authorcode=a464691&entry=10187

…yeah.

I don’t know who this is, but she said exactly what I’ve been feeling for a while. Yeah.

Aaron came for the weekend….was so so great. Every minute. We just picked up where we left off from August. I cried for a bit cause I was so happy and it was such a release….and he just held me, and told me he was there and he loved me. It was…what life should be. It was.

Then he left.

5 more weeks.

I miss him already.

one fine day

October 14, 2003

((hugs))(((((((((hugs)))))))))) I really can understand:- it’s so SO hard. But I love you lots, not that that really helps, I’m sure, but you know, anything I can do. ((hugs)) again

stardust;

October 14, 2003

i know the feeling… they arrive and it’s like you’ve never been apart, then they leave and it feels like an eternity until the next time. you’ll make 5 weeks, it’ll be ok. xxx

Hey there! Thanks so much for the note. It’s funny because I wrote that right after my boyfriend left from visiting me. We are both going to school in different cities and it’s been so hard. I miss him so much all the time. It’s so nice to know that there are other people out there that are going thru the same things as I am. Take care 🙂

Violet Librarian

October 14, 2003

To misquote a wise friend of mine, “go emerly go!!” *bigbigbig hugs* You can make it. You’ve come more than halfway already, and I know you can make it the rest of the way. We all believe in you.

*HUG* you’ve got lots of people who love you, emmers…erhaps not the same way as Aaron, but you cant forget us! love always,

I’m glad you had time like that with your boyfriend. See, the thing is, it seems you and your boyfriend love each other equally. Sometimes I worry that I love mine too much, or that he doesn’t care for me in the same way. This is probably stupid, and I’m working to get over it, but even after a year and three months with me, he can’t even say to me that he’d like to have a future with me. I mean

I’m not looking for him to promise me the future, but I’m so scared of investing even more time and emotion in him and then being dumped because he always just considered me something to indulge in for the present time… like, he lives for the moment when it comes to me, his girlfriend. And I’m working on not worrying about that; I’m honestly working on not caring.

What do you think I should do? I want to pull away, to not always be there for him, to find stuff to do. And I’m so freaking lucky that I haven’t cried in four days. That’s a definite sign that I’m learning how to be apathetic about it. God, I am just so frustrated. I just want not to care anymore. Not to be afraid, not to hope for anything for us in the future, not to want to be the only one for

him. Thanks so much for you note, and I am adding you to favorites, too. We could end up having a lot in common. I’ll be reading you. – Lost in the confusion of love

Heyy..thanks for your note…sorry i couldn’t reply…my internet access has been messed for a while…but i’m gonna start updating again 😉

hey ems….i know that its hard. *hugs* hang in there, sweetie. and know that hes thinking about you.