Comedy Fools Gold

How many people in the audience never raise their hand?

 -Steve Martin-

i got rained on.

thought I could walk into a bar and own it by the time I got out.

stood by my bike and thought about calling her.

she captures my imagination.

i soared and charged through those puddles- it felt amazing- I really thought I was going to wipe out just because the Earth would deny me so much bliss on the way home. I wanted to throw my arms back and close my eyes like Costner in Dances With Wolves when he rides his horse towards gunfire…except any association with Costner is too fickle and stupid…,so I withdraw the comparison. Steve Martin could express himself beautifully through his love of art, theatre…I take Dances With Wolves- fucking shoot me.

Big scene tomorrow. I gotta clean this place up. Organize shit, I’m actually shooting somewhere else.

Rob’s set was pretty funny. I thought he was going to pass out- he had the volume/energy up to 10 the whole time. He went from Build A Bear, to Therapy to Jail. It was interesting feeling the audience shift- I think they got really uncomfortable and thought he was nuts because he put so much punctuation on everything.

I especially liked some of the one liners I heard tonight- my favorite being, "I have a gay midget friend. He came out of the cupboard."

I read Richard E. Grant’s problems getting his movie made and it made me feel better. I barely have problems besides dealing with myself, I don’t have asshole producers trying to ruin everything because of a power trip- I’m doing whatever the hell I want! Whoever shows up on set- it’s their movie too- we’re all doing it- I don’t have to spell it out in a contract- we’re all making magic. We’re making some occasional shit too, but we go back and get the magic.

Oh Hitler Dollll, oh Hitler Dolll.

I owe the world to Carli and Loren. My family.

I think doing stand up would be the worst-for ME, I think it would be incredibly lonely. Unless an incredible woman said that she wanted me to get up on stage and make her laugh- then I would consider. then try, then fail miserably. I would more likely do it if someone told me I couldn’t do it- then I would go nuts and do everything in my power to surround that asshole with people laughing at my jokes. I’m not a good storyteller, so I would keep things short and sweet and very very strange- that’s the only way I could find a voice for myself.

I can’t believe how many comedians relied on fart jokes, fucking jokes and women get out of the car and ask for directions jokes. I heard one dude say,

"That guy’s like Richard Pryor."

Right. Because he’s saying offensive shit, but he’s not connecting with the audience and the actual material sucks- but the foul mouth is there, so he deserves a comparison to Richard Pryor- gimmee a break. These jokes were probably old in the 70’s, but now they’re just told in the most offensive way possible.

I couldn’t talk about myself for material. Growing up in Hawaii humor. What a fucking bore. That’s why the absurd is so appealing- I could take it so far away from myself, but it’s still coming from me, so you can know me that way. What if you spout out everything about yourself on stage and then go on a date with someone that saw your stand up. Now she knows what a fucking dick I am when it comes to this and that, so she thinks she knows me.

anyway…rambling.

there were a lot of great stand-ups tonight though, just a couple that really pressed my buttons, but you know what- those comedian cliches always manage to get laughs because not everybody has heard those jokes, so what the fuck do I know.

like any good show, whether its theater, or a movie, improv or stand-up, it inspired me and at the end of the night I really wanted to take a shot at it and show them what I could do.

by tomorrow I’ll wise up and throw out my composition book full of terrible insights.

that’s a clown aiming a cat at a man’s balls by the way.