WTF

Ok, today’s thoughts…

There are three types of love… The love when you love a family member, Parents, grandparents, children, siblings. You know. Some times you love them more then others. But still, Loving family is just one of the types of love. There goes. Part one of this.

Second kind of love is the one where you love someone, Like when you’re a teen and you think it’s the only person who could possibly feel the same way you do. And everything in your world is about the two of them. After you break up, It ends up being more of a relief then anything. And if they ever decide to return, You get all fucked up because the thought of them makes you disorented to the point where you’re ready to lock yourself up inside your room (house) and NEVER come out.

Then there’s the Love that means the most. Where you don’t ever say it. You don’t ever have to even think it. You know it’s love.

When you hear the phone ring and your heart pauses when you know it’s them. You get butterflies in your stumach everytime they come up in a conversation. You stop talking to them and it HURTS! Everywhere. Everything around you starts falling apart, Only when you think you’ll Never hear from them again. As soon as you’re almost ready to deal. They return to your life with everything that makes sence. Your comfort returns. Happieness is now part of your life again. I’m sure everyone will feel that way with someone throughout their life. My oppionion, If you can MARRY THEM! Don’t let them go! Please.

My point is, I have the second category love of my life in town right now, We’re putting off talking to him AS LONG AS POSSIBLE! I’m not sure how long it’ll work, But It’s the plan. We’ll see….

I have the Third Category love returning to me in June. I’m so excited. I just can’t wait! YIPPY! I’m glad we both know how we feel. We say it in Emails and stuff. And express it when we’re walking around. Or talking for hours on end. What other person can you litterally talk about nothing with? Not sex, friends, Family, news, weather. But NOTHING! Like talking them trough what you’re doing on the other side of the phone. Taking off your shoes, Getting dressed for bed, Playing a computer game. It’s like hanging out when you’re all together, but you can’t touch eachother. It’s like the physical stuff is Really not there. It has it’s downfalls of course. But It’s great when you both know Everything about everyone. And then you learn what they think of their friends before you ever meet them. And you can make your mind up without knowing them. Its an odd thing. But Dang, Its funny to me.

So point is… I guess… Jason is an ass hole. he works so hard to ruin my life. What the hell does he want now? why would he return when he just got the state to go after him in NY to come back to CT? Is he really ready to be paying back his debts? Does he feel bad? His siblings and all of their friends all say, the children are his. He can’t deny them. Yeah, Well… What ever.

I may not have the father of my children around, but I have a love who I know is there for me. And I’m here for my kids. So things work out. They don’t think they’re missing out after all. They have 3 uncles, an Aunt, and two wonderful grandparents. Then TONS OF MOM’s FRIENDS! They cling to some of them more then others. But over all they have fun. They’re great kids and I wouldn’t want Jason to mess that up. It is a privlage to be their parent. That’s how great of kids they are.

OK! That’s todays thoughts… What do you think?