Recap and questionable attractions

Ooof! Quite a few weeks it’s been.

The end of year concert was this past Saturday, and it seems like all the weekends of the last month have been leading to it (and the festival). Finally it went really well. I had a lot of fun and I got tons of great comments, especially about the Singing in the Rain choreography/dance. There were no major screw ups and despite a meltdown in the sopranos during the dress, everything else went swimmingly (even the musical director didn’t have his usual anxiety fuel blow-up).

It was really great seeing a few of the old members who came to see the show. I was especially happy to see Christine, it’s just not been the same without her. (I absolutely love my alto group this year, they are such a fantastic group, but I still miss my co-section head and show buddy). She is head over heels in love, and it’s so nice to see. She basically started the conversation by telling me she was in love and he was the one. That at her age, you just know it. I really hope he is. She deserves to be happy. (I’m a little envious to be honest lol!)

On that note, John-Paul came to the concert (wasn’t a surprise, I sold him a ticket when we saw each other Sunday) and stuck around to chat after. It’s funny, I’m increasingly becoming convinced he’s trying to protect himself from me. Despite basically telling me things had run their course last weekend, and then backtracking a bit and saying that maybe once or twice more… (He’d been sending all sorts of contrary signals in the preceding weeks, and even that particular conversation hadn’t really started in that direction) he still seems to be making an effort. When he told me he had a friend’s birthday party and couldn’t stick around, I gave him the customary two pecks on the cheek and he just kind of held me there. Might not mean anything, but it was… odd. Anyhow, he’s supposed to eventually drop by and pick up a flower pot I have for him. I may just take the opportunity to have a chat about all this. It’s funny, I got into this situation knowing it wasn’t meant to turn into anything serious and I was doing surprisingly well with it too, until he started sending me mixed signals… now I find myself reconsidering. I have every reason to run in the other direction, and may yet choose to do so, but I guess I’m wondering how much of that decision is self-preservation and how much is societal pressures and other fears.

On the other hand, no news from David. He’d been pretty quiet since my return from Calgary. I point-blanked asked if there was still interest and he told me that yet, but he’s a little overwhelmed right now due to his landlord selling his building and needing to find a new place to live (which is fair enough). We texted back and forth until Friday, and nothing at all since then. It ended on me asking about the visits he’d had the previous day. He said something about maybe trying to make it to my show Saturday, but I didn’t see him or hear from him about it so I’m guessing that didn’t happen. I just can’t be asked to make the effort at this point. I’ll let him deal with his stuff, and we’ll see if I’m still interested once he gets back from all that. I’m not interested in doing the work at this point.

Oh, and in an amusing turn of events. We ended up going out to karaoke with about half the group after the show on Saturday. Emeline was sitting next to me and we got to talking. She was asking if I had a boyfriend or girlfriend, and what I was into. Told her about John-Paul, and basically gave the usual, I’m not closed to the idea of girls, just never been attracted to one. I got the vague impression after that that she may have been flirting with me a bit… I’m kind of clueless about that kind of thing, but I’m pretty sure. She got to telling me about her ex, they broke up because although she adored her, she just couldn’t seem to fall in love with her (I can understand that… and it SUCKS!). She explained too that this girl had always been with men before her and that she’d basically ‘flipped’ her. Going on to say that when she wants something (or someone) she generally gets what she wants. I wasn’t completely sure what to think about that… I laughed and left it at that.

Yesterday was a semi-productive day. I moved into my new apartment on Thursday so yesterday was the first day I was able to empty a few boxes and start really moving in. Granted I spent a good part of the day sleeping (I feel like I’m catching up on about a month’s worth of sleep at this point), but I did get a decent amount done. Most of the clothes are put away, the kitchen still needs a bit of work, but I may need to do an Ikea run before it really sorts itself out as I don’t have a pantry and my drawers are too small for my cutlery racks. But other than that, a few more days and I should be pretty much set. I still have to wait 2 weeks for internet though, due to a huge screw-up on their end. Oh well, I could do with less social media anyhow.

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June 4, 2018

Mixed signals are the worst.

Good luck with the rest of the unpacking.

Less social media makes me happier, too. lol.