New Moon

I’m not gonna lie, I felt icky about the whole age thing too at first. Felt icky she was quite older than me even tho I liked her a lot. I felt especially weird about it during the Tame Impala concert. I was rolling and sometime during my peak the thought came up and I just felt… icky. Like why am I entertaining this? This couldn’t ever work right? Like she’s really attractive but so much older.. and that night that thought stuck with me, until the next night for Seven Chronicles – when I rolled again. And something weird happened during my roll that night. First, it took 2 and a half fucking hours for me to finally feel the 2 points I took. And then once I felt it, it went from 0 to 200. Shit was nuts. And I’m an idiot and decided to take a third. Fucking gone, off to neverland. I hit this peak in my roll where I thought I could literally telecommunicate. And I heard this voice speaking to me so I started asking them questions and it felt so real. Like I was actually in contact with this entity through my mind. It felt, natural? Like everyone should be able to do this. It was like a switch that you could turn on and off when u want to share your thoughts with a specific person. And so I was talking with this entity about how I was feeling and it guided me through with some answers I wasn’t expecting, and I had this clear realization. I accepted that love can take many forms in life. And life gives you these weird experiences and it’s up to you to interpret and give them meaning. It’s up to you to determine whether or not something is natural and normal or if something is icky.. so I accepted the fact that I liked her and never thought about the age difference again. It simply didn’t bother me anymore, because I accepted her, the age difference, and the weirdness of it and made it my own normal. I guess what I didn’t realize is that other people, including her, wouldn’t have this same epiphany that I experienced. And probably still felt the same way I did at first, which is icky.