the plan

okay so, were going to use our cash tomorrow to pay for our school tuition since we dont have the money to afford it out of our bank account. i think i need to give up on the idea of saving money for alittle bit, which is fine, but currently i do have alot of debts to pay off. and well my partner is amazing and patient with me i want us going into a long term relationship with healthy finances. i got frustrated today, and i realized from tiktok i have this low tolerance policy with myself that i expect everyone else to be the same way, but my brain really doesnt like that at all. something else just popped into my head. im so angry that one of my bosses said one of my clients was covered in poop. because no they werent. they had a small smear that would have been hard to see in the dark and would have gone completely unnoticed, she just wanted me to feel bad. which is pretty crappy if you ask me and i dont know why i cant get over things like this. it shouldnt be that big of a deal, i think it stems from issues similar to this with how my mom treated me and then i brought it into adulthood. i was thinking about what others might say when i write this and they have no idea what im talking about and it made me realize how absolutely judgmental i am. thats a step i need to take. i need to work on being less judgmental. because it makes me dislike people, when they dont reach my standards. but i get upset when people arent patient with me when i dont reach their standards. its very hypocritical. its been quite difficult having to be completely honest with myself and i have this issue where i assume everyone else is on the same level as i am and so when communication isnt clear or i feel theyre being ridiculous they may not be as self aware as i am. who knows. maybe im a narcissist. if i am i def learned the behavior from my mom. which is kinda depressing. my mom has had such a sad life. i wonder if this is how i can get all my thoughts out. its a shame i cannot write pen and paper this fast. i would feel alot more secure in being able to write when im out and about but i absolutely hate writing now that i know how to type. thats somethig i am proud of, taught myself how to type properly. it was hard but i did do it.