12.08.11

It is a very beautiful day out today. Calm, almost no breeze at all, NO clouds or fog by now, ten forty-five. My winter cold is breaking up and I don’t have to hug that box of tissues anymore. (truth: a roll of TP) The paperwork for Unemployment has come and it won’t pay all the bills I have now, because I didn’t work but half the year in 2011.

In the past, I’ve about cut all the fat I could from my monthly expenses, so there’s not much left there – I’ll just have to eat into the scant savings I have and I’ll have to hope I find another job real soon. Or give up the car, and since I’m "underwater" on it (I owe more than it would sell for…but not all that much) I’d STILL owe money on it and wouldn’t have it to use. I’ll go talk to the Credit Union. Maybe they’d rather have some coming in on the loan than nothing and a used car to sell. Car insurance should go down in February – I’ve been a "good" driver and had no claims on MY insurance, and that’s one of those pay it or else kinds of things – gotta have car insurance

I have been thinking, a lot, about what I should do next. For most of my life I wanted to drive big vehicles, but, ya know, the way things are looking, I’m just not all That good at it. I’ve had far more scrapes, near misses, and accidents with buses and trucks than I’ve had in my CAR, and I wonder if I shouldn’t look into a different line of work.

If I could get paid for taking pictures that would be good, but my photo equipment is not new and is low resolution, and I don’t think it’s good enough for real professional photo work.  I think I am, but….

I don’t, or didn’t used to, think about age much – I’ve always felt young, like "the new guy" – but I’m becoming more aware of numbers. I’ll be 50 in March. Not maybe as freaky a number as my friend A’s will be – 60 in July, but there’s a lot of younger people out there looking for jobs too. Competition.  I feel like time is shorter than I need it to be. My savings are minimal, I don’t have any Health Care, and I already live in The Poor House (and have for 13 years).

I was going to publish a photo book about the Columbia Gorge – I have enough good pictures for that, I think, but self-publishing, even through the Web costs something, and I wonder if I should pay for that with the scant funds I have left.

Sunshine is a good anti-depressant, and it’s A BEAUTIFUL DAY out there today – a stunningly beautiful December day. I did go for a drive yesterday, in the afternoon, but the light wasn’t good and although I did take my camera, I didn’t take any pictures. It’s not even Noon yet – maybe I should try that today, earlier in the day. I’ve been catching up on my sleep and Blacky Cat seems to feel better – he likes the sun too.

I have some UE paperwork to fill out and mail back, but I think I might go outside and soak up the sun a while.

There might be pictures waiting to be taken too.

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