I am…

 

                                                            DEPRESSION: 3 IMPRESSIONS

 

1st impression

 

Giant shadows posture and snarl

On the infinite screen of the sky

Parading and charading overwhelmingly

Towering over me, humbling me.

 

Whispers in a dusky room-

Quiet, like the scream of a moth

Invade my privacy, my space with their threadbare cries of doom

 

In the dark, on the street

Threatening shadows move beyond the light

Gesturing, impotent, they posture and snarl

On the darkness’ limitless screen.

 

The thread of dread runs through my life

Ensnaring and ensnarling-tangled

Like the spider’s web around the fly

As I patiently wait for the sting.

 

Run through the streets and find

That no one cares, has time to spare

No one has a moment to waste as they

Rush onwards toward some far horizon.

 

Sit quietly in the empty space around you

Take no notice of the freshening breeze

That tells you of far cities, of distant adventures

Of greener grass beyond this here.

 

2nd Impression

Of man, many things are said

by those who are well read…

from the pit of noxious emotion,

to the pinnacle of glorious ambition,

man strides across a hostile world

remaking all unto his image.

From the depths of his soul,

he pours the dregs of bitterness

upon a world gone mad;

upon the good and the just

as well as the bad.

Man carves his face on immortal stone

unyielding metal and earthen clay.

 

Subject to time, required to pay,

each passage is booked in advance.

Man strives to conquer all

before he falls

into the dust of eternal time.

Which is, after all is said and done

an invention of man himself.

Whether he seeks fame and fortune

or health and good times,

man always falls short on deeds.

Whether building empires or planting seeds;

whether making love or dying alone;

man is imperfect-and seeks perfection

in a world that is quite extraordinary

even while man is considered

ordinary.

 

3rd Impression

There is murder in my heart tonight

Black violence which drives me to despair

of ever seeing you again.

So much wasted time between us.

Makes me want to cut and slash

destroy and annihilate.

Blackness overcomes me.

and leaves a bitter flavor in me

as the longing for a final solution

builds up.

 

I see flames and blood,

dismembered corpses,

ruins and ruble

and crawling terrors.

Black desire overwhelms me

to rape and kill, to swim in blood.

Oh, oh, help me now and

can you save me?

Let me drown and let me go.

There is murder in my heart tonight.

 

 

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