Saturday edit
So much for "real life".
It would sound juvenile and petty were I to write it out – I have, and it does, but really – so much for so called "real" life.
I guess my lot in life is to write about the past. It has been sorta interesting, looking at it in retrospect, but the day to day crap gets lost that way, and it’s easy to forget that so called real life is sort of bleak and unrewarding.
And unappealling to others….
So.
Back to living online. I should get off my ass and scan some pictures, someday. Instead of thinking of the present, I think I’ll go back to remembering stuff and writing it down – that gets better response anyway. Better than "real life", anyway.
Nine more Thursdays to go in the school year – nine more weeks, and then there’ll be no bus driving for a couple of months. I’ll have hours and hours to scan prints with. I’ll have hours and hours to recall and write about the things I’ve seen and done…in the past.
"Now" is not unrewarding; it’s just not something I’ll be writing about in the future. I’ve been feeling kind of shy or something. The Sitemeter says I have a lot of local readers lately. Most of them, I don’t know, but a few I think I do, and that’s affected what I want to write about, but upon reflection, so fucking what?
It most likely will not change a fucking thing if I write here or not, except I generally don’t feel so alone if I write here and look for the responses online. Definately, the response to my "real life" efforts has been minimal.
Monday the 23rd will be nine years since I wrecked the car. That is a long time. It doesn’t feel so recent anymore.
It could be worse; my cat likes me.
rereading this it’s like "oh boo hoo" cat.
I got stuff to look forwards to. Crater Lake, for one thing. Even with gas over three bucks a gallon, a new rental car’ll get decent mileage. Driving new cars on a long cruise to beautiful places is, like, one of my FAVORITE things.
It’s just the day to day drudge while I wait (oh, that’s bad too) for better stuff to come.
With, ya know, one of my favorite people.
*****
The past has a funny tendancy to push ‘now’ out of the way. As if living in the past ever did us any good. Reflection is essential, but meditating upon it constantly may not be good for the soul. I think I should take my own advice. – I’ve not been keeping up with anyone’s diary recently- very busy with school. I hope that the summer will provide a time for catching up. Be well.
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I read, note infrequently and write even less. It is the effect of going to grad school and working with two kids, two cats, two dogs and many other things to keep tabs on. There are days when I think fondly of my single days when Saturday morning meant a jog, clean up around the house and maybe an afternoon cooking something. But I love my life as it is. I am looking forward to your photos ofCrater Lake when you take them and post them.
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I read here to find out about your day to day life…what’s going on, how you are coping with your challenges, the good things that are happening, the progress. Don’t judge your life by how many notes you get. That isn’t anything under your control and more often than not it’s a reflection of how many people you noted. The drag of working two jobs is starting to get you down I think.
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you could always come rub my feet. They hurt. I could use a man who has time to pamper me. I deserve it. I need it.
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no! it is not boo hoo cat. It seemed like a moment of honesty. I enjoyed it and could relate. What is the most memorable place you have visited? Adventures- seeing new things- is so wonderful. I want to see everything. I’m going to Italy this summer. Be well.
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like agamemnon i read note little and write less but i read all the time every time
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we all go through highs and lows. I have at least three regular readers who have never noted, ever (site meter told me so). What’s up with that? Take care, my friend.
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Oh, and I understand your hesitancy when thinking those you may personal know are reading. That’s why I have my diary set up as chapter only. I let D&D people come in to read my Star story and I hope they’ll just go along their way. I’m not so worried that they will read. I don’t care that much, I just hope they won’t and take my little hint if they find out there is more to the diary that I’d prefer them to keep out! Earl already found out and read the whole thing. Oh well. Got to read about how annoying I think his g/f is. That’s okay, though, cause he thinks she’s annoying, too! Take care.
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John Lennon said “Life is what happens to us while we’re busy making other plans”. I think it was him, anyway. Maybe it doesn’t really apply to what you are saying, but your post made me think of it.
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HEY!!! keep a camera handy! cuz ya never know whats gonna be a “kodac moment” falling outta left field! And if was interesting to you…its likely interseting to “us”! I would not have you on my “favs” if I thought you boring! :~)
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BUT!!…if itsa same old…your saga is REALLY great read! I’m still trying to get comfy enuff here to share more of the “uncomfortable” stuff! you got a little more nerve than me…yet! :~)
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I personally enjoy reading everything you write!… does your sitemeter pic up your visits to your page? .. I set mine to ignore me when I visit my own pages……… 🙂
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