Sometimes… (edit)

I was going to post one picture and call it ‘one picture’ but as I looked at mine I had a different idea. 

Sometimes I don’t feel all that smart or intelligent.

Why, I imagine you asking?

Since most of my readers are women, perhaps it’s not apparent, but it is very clear to me.

I was married to K* for 11 and a half years, and although she is still in my life, it is not the same, and I feel stupid for blowing this.

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Yeah, in 2007, 12 years after the divorce, we rented a car and drove down into Southern Oregon to see Crater Lake, and this is the motel we stopped at in Roseburg.  She’s 45 in this pic, but I have known her since she was 20 (and I was 19) and she still looks – well, of course she looks good to me.

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Another found love of mine, in a break to this story:

The first Dodge Caliber I drove, in 2007.  I liked it so much that when I could, I bought one for myself, a 2008 SE Plus.  Then I traded that one on the 2009 SXT Sport I have now, so I have had a Caliber to drive for over five years now.  That, buying one for myself, was a smart move, one that makes me think I’m not completely hopeless….

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On the other hand…

Depoe Bay, Oregon.

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Women’s Forum viewpoint, the Columbia Gorge, Oregon:

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2004:

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Somewhere in Oregon, 2007.

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It’s been this way from the beginning.

1981, when we first met:

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Married the second time by a classmate of hers at RISD:

The bride and groom wore black.  We actually got married three times.  Once, for the license, twice for our friends at school seen above, and the third time for her parents, in Japan.

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20 years after we first met and years past our divorce:

She has come to Oregon to see me nearly every year since I left Japan in 1996.

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2012, March, and 31 years after we first met:

My 50th birthday – she made a special trip for me.

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No, I’m not so smart, but at least I have kept one person in my life for over 30 years:

2012, on the Washington side of the Columbia River.

No, I don’t think I’m all that bright.  Yeah, I got good grades in school and on all the measurements of intelligence, but I know how dumb I am.

If I was smart, I wouldn’t be where I am now.  I might not be here on OD and maybe I wouldn’t have had this experience at all, and maybe you’d be missing out on my not so bad pictures, and maybe I’d have this woman even more in my life than I do now.

Maybe maybe maybe.

i dunno what you’d think of the whole story, of which I’ve only written fragments, but you’d probably conclude that, like I think, I’m not so smart.

Sometimes… it could have been better, but…

It could be worse.

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btw K* means K Star to me, the star in my life.

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The next entry is a music video for this entry.

 

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