The Results (and the edit)
I need to be very careful what I wish for. I used to be highly intelligent – no boast- and I used to wish I was more like other people.
"Average". I wanted to be more average, and it looks like that wish came true, because I have lost 30 points on the IQ scale.
It is a very good thing I was "Superior" before, because I’m average or borderline defective now, and if I had been "average" before, I’d be a blithering idiot now.
This is why I used to wish the damage was more obvious. I am glad it’s not, really, but looks and is are two different things with me, and although I look "normal" and don’t drool or anything, I am actually a borderline idiot. Defective. Sub-Normal.
(after reading the whole evaluation, it’s only sub-par in a couple of areas, and considering how bad off I was at the beginning, I have to say I have done very well. All things considered. Brain injuries are BAD)
It is awfully goddamn sad that I have fallen so far and those %(%^( idiots do not recognize it.
(yeah, I do feel sorry for myself)
Well, not maybe the VRD people, who I have been calling VocRehab. One of the first things my counselor did today was put me in touch with yet another SocSec attorney. Third times the charm, they say, so maybe it won’t be another waste of time.
Fucking SS is like insurance – it takes from you all your life and when you need it – psst, it isn’t there and %&%^#&%^ idiots are deciding your future.
It’s almost enough for you to want to go buy a gun and shoot some idiots.
Not how I want to get on the news
I’m not going to do that.
(but maybe I’ll write something)
30 points off my IQ. For most people that’d be it, they’d be fucked all the rest of their lives. Now I’m borderline "average". It’s a HUGE step down, and worse than I thought.
I need to wish for "better" things.
I DO need to wish for better things, that’s fer sure
Maybe that winning lotto ticket is not realistic, but I guess that would be ok too, eh?
*****
It might not be as good news as you had hoped for but you are still here and still ‘compos mentis’ plus full mobility. Don’t be too harsh on yourself regarding the outcome. You are a valuable and worthwhile person on this Earth. Very best wishes, A
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agree’s with A and yea maybe 3rd times a charm 🙂 would for sure take the $$ stress off you
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Yes, what A. said. Also, doesn’t everyone’s IQ go down as they get older, and if you’re like me, you probably haven’t been doing a lot of math drills, etc., recently. If you worked as, say, an engineer, you’d probably do a lot better. Just because commercial driving may not be for you right now doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot of worthwhile abilities and skills to offer. Will the Vocational Rehabilitation people give you some kind of aptitude test?
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Will the results of the testing help you get SS disability? That was your point in having the tests wasn’t it? You are bright and you write very well, no matter what happened to your IQ.
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Well I hope the 3rd time is the charm did you go all the way to the hearing stage on your two other tries? I think age matters too and 50 is a number that matters more to them I believe…
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