Ummm…
I’m feeling a crisis of confidence.
I know that I haven’t done this even a week, that today was my fourth solo trip. I know this is all new to me. I know I know I know, but I’m still feeling incompetant.
I’m not getting a lot of sleep. I don’t have nearly as much "me" time as I used to. That takes some getting used to too. For years and years I’ve worked just enough to survive – barely survive, at that.
I haven’t had as much OD time as I’m used to and have barely looked at any Favs lately. It’s all been about coming home, eating, sleeping a little, and then going out to do a job again. Tomorrow, the middle school starts an hour later, so I have to "lay over" an hour somewhere – I’m thinking I’ll just go back to the bus barn, cuz it’s nearby, and that’s what we did last week.
I know I’m feeling the newness, the uncertainty of a new job, but wow, I hate this feeling, this "am I good enough" shit, this "can I really do this?" feeling.
Trying to work night and day…. is this the right thing to do? Neither job pays enough to more than survive, but together, my time is fragmented a little too much.
And, it’s only Wenesday tomorrow….
Say some good things to me please – my cat is complaining and isn’t very supportive, but he’s all I got in the real world.
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Hey we’re part of the real world too dear. You will be just fine. It’s just an adjustment period. Stick it out, and once you get used to it, you’ll be just fine. Hang in there okay.
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OKay Cat, I hear you loud and clear! Life isn’t about being excellent at everything you do, its seems to be about just giving it your best shot don’t you think? I beleive you are giving this new job your best shot! You’ve been diligent in going to the training sessions haven’t you? You’ve been diligent studing manuals etc haven’t you?
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You’ve done everything you needed to do to be organised, thoughtful and co-operative with the bosses. I think the newness of it all is just hitting home that’s all… and may me some over tiredness. Maybe you just need to do as Red Pj says and just stick it out until you completely familiarise your self with the everything you have to do.
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The old saying practice makes perfect is a good one.The more you practice the better you get, until it all starts to come naturally. Remember when I couldn’t even post a photo on my diary a few months back? Well My grwon up son wrote out all the directions for me in a small manual style book.Everytime I needed to download a photo I’d have to look up everything I had to do.
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but over time, I gradually got used to all the sections i’d have to click on, and after a while the whole process grew easier and easier.Now I can put the phots on the computor, Jay peg them, and down load to photo bucket without even using the book.Practicing what i needed to do really helped. Now I know you are no dumb cat.You are still that same intelligent guy you always have been, so yu can
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do this! And don’t forget that if it gets difficult, our dear Lord is right there wit you to help you and to guide you on your way. he has the power to enter our minds, and untangle our thoughts, and make us to go in the way he sees we should go. It just takes faith that’s all. And Faith is just simply believing that God has heard you call for help, and beleiving he is right about to answer
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you any second! So keep up the great work. God is with you, and he’ll give all the help you need to be really great at this new job!!
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((( Remember the scripture he gave you to live by, Just ask and you will receive.))))
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Hello. I agree. “Have no aniety about anything, but in everything by prayer and suplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God (my Father)” then you will have “the peace of God which passes all understanding, (which ) will keep your heart and mind in Christ jesus. (philipians chapter 4: 6,7.)
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hello, I just have one more comment to leave here for you Come unto me all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek, and lowly in heart; and you shall find rest fro your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Mathew 11 :28-30 Getting to know your Lord better will make it easier to talk to him….. just a
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thought I couldn’t resist putting in there. One mor eto really encourage you along…. “There is nothing that is too hard for the Lord.(Jerimiah 32 :17.)
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It’s a huge change in routine for you….. you were living on the edge before…. the edge of a career, the edge of financial security. Now you’ve jumped into life again, playing the game, playing catch up. It’s just paying your dues. You’re doing FINE. You’re going through the same uncertainties and insecurities and doubts that we ALL go through. You can do it. Things will settle down. It’s so much better to be out there furthering your career and focusing on your life and your future, than to be grazing in front of the computer reading about the lives of other people. We’re still here for you, and we will continue to be. Do your thing. Make your life. Make it happen.
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I can’t resist leaving this private note. I see all the notes you have from the Jesus camp. I used to be one of them. Now, I can barely tolerate them. That’s my own issue to deal with. I have no idea where you are with respect to that. If they give you comfort and strength, that’s great. If not…. well…. they mean well. I am sure of that much.
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I agree with Red PJ’s… it’s just an adjustment period. Perhaps a skim back through your happy and excited entries when you first found out about the job and all the things you were looking forward to (and have now attained!) will help you feel a bit better.
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Maybe working two jobs IS a bit too tiring! If you were happy enough, making just enough money to get by…. maybe there’s no really good reason to over-tire yourself by working two jobs? BUT, I agree with the noters who said this IS an adjustment period. I think you are gonna soon start to feel much more competent, less tired, less anxious, etc. So give yourself a break whenever ya can. As for not having time to note your friends…. I, for one, am still here, so when you do have time, that’s ok! :o) !! hugs, Weesprite
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Maybe you could cut back at the paper and only work Sat & Sun? and Summer? It would be working 7 days, but at least you could get some sleep. Also, like you said, it’s only been 4 days…..You’ll do fine!
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oh man do I know how you’re feeling. I felt like I couldn’t do this job when I started but it’s been fine! You’ll be fine! It’s just the newness of it. 🙂 Stick with it. 🙂
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Some good things will come along with the new work, things you haven’t had in your life for awhile. You need to put on your positive hat and swing with it for at least a month. You will learn new ways of organizing to make your life work as a whole. Teachers go through this big adjustment every September.
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Give yourself some time to adjust. It gets easier, and you will find you’re more than competent to do the job. As for the splitting your day to do both jobs, wow.. that’s something I can’t offer any advice about – I can imagine it has to be difficult. Getting “me” time becomes a luxury and a thing of the past. But I am totally confident that you CAN do this.. you’re awesome, Cat.. you’re doing sogreat.
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You CAN do this.
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It’s all about adjusting. Give yourself time, try to relax as much as possible, even if that means letting some of your “lesser obligations” go (housework is my first thing to get neglected). YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. Hugs.
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