Appointments

CW: 99.5 lbs

BMI: 16.1

Food consumed yesterday: 3 coffees, 1 vitamin water, 1 APPLE

I was so proud of that apple.  It took so much for me to buy it and eat it and KEEP IT DOWN!  I didn’t b/p at all yesterday, but I can’t make any promises about today.

I don’t have a lot of time to type because I have that meeting with the nutritionist in about 20 minutes.  That makes me want to binge, that and this weekend comes with so much anticipation.  My roomies want to go out to dinner sometime this weekend, plus there are parties and it’s a 4 day weekend, so there aren’t any classes to keep my mind busy.  I talked to my therapist last night on the phone and I was truly honest with her about everything.  She is going to really try and work with me to keep me out of the hospital, but that means I have to work hard to not purge and eat stuff.  I am trying, really I am.

I also came out to my roomies that I have an ED.  I forgot how it really came up, but it did.  Turns out one of them was bulimic in high school, but it died out in freshmen year because of the whole dorm situation.  Became too difficult to purge and she didn’t feel as though she needed it anymore.  They told me that whenever I needed, they were there for me and offered to eat meals with me when they weren’t busy.  It was very sweet of them, I don’t know if I’ll take them up on their offers though.  Eating in front of others is sorta nervewracking right now, especially when they know they are eating with an anorectic.

Well, I wish I had time to write more, but I really gotta get to that appt.  Then I have another appt with my therapist tomorrow morning.  Hopefully I can get back on the net before then.  I’m trying to keep up with your diaries, but I keep running out of time!  I can’t wait to get the net at our house next Friday!

~Rachel

ps- Your notes have been so comforting!  I really love you guys!!!