I did more flashcards today. I finally caught up with my Spanish and Irish flashcards so in the next couple days I can start reading in Spanish and picking up more new words and doing some more Irish grammar study… and by the way, when I saw all the conjugations just of the verb ‘feic’, I was momentarily intimidated to see that Irish has as many or more conjugated forms as any other language but maybe more because a verb takes on a whole other conjugation in the negative. The past, she saw, chonaic sí, and I do not know how you get chonaic out of feic, but ‘she didn’t see’ is totally different? Ní fhaca sí. And that is just the beginning!

You have to ask yourself sometimes why you are learning one language and not another because it can be quite a commitment. German, anyway, should be pretty easy to pick up again, and I have my old books, including the best grammar review book I ever had, the one we used for intermediate German, called der Treffende Ausdruck.  It was just a real intermediate grammar book with practice for picking up the finer distinctions between verbs and vocabulary and it was just really, really good. I rarely even see intermediate grammar books that go deeper than grammar intros.

In Spanish I practiced a lot of words that are kind of similar: rebosar and rebotar, to overflow or brim over and to bounce or ricochet, respectively, and resbalar, to slip. Deslumbrar, to dazzle. I read a little more on Python today but I’m not that excited about it at the moment. I don’t know if I will be when I have a chance to get more into it. Under perfect conditions it is something I’d have a great time playing with though, I’m sure. Manipulating and modifying strings and integers snd floats gets a little boring after five minutes. I am just reading through until something a little more complicated happens.

Today I have been watching Rebecca. I keep almost calling it Jane Eyre because that is what I wanted to watch first. Tonight I am thinking I might finally watch some more options videos. Reflecting on the last week, I feel like I am further in both Spanish and Irish than I hoped to be after a week, but that’s about it. I was exhausted all week and my diet has been bad all week contributing to the ezhaustion and I don’t want to get into that spiral!

I need some way to integrate exercise into my routine without killing myself and it feels like even walking can do that to me these days. I don’t follow my weight too closely but I know it was about 218 lbs. when I ended up in that hospital and since then I have gained about 18 pounds despite being generally much more active than I was then (I really and truly was hardly moving at all, and I am still not moving a whole lot, but it is more, and I am definitely eating more.)

What can conquer my exhaustion and bad eating habits and… all the ways my body just has no flexibility anymore? It just occurred to me while writing this: the best investment I can make over the next month is probably to do yoga. The place I used to go to is still there, run by the same guy, who I like, but with a different name, which I like, too, because I did not want to do yoga anymore under the name of that creepy guy even if it helped me feel better! Now, I can remember, I had good memories of that place, it was the most optimistic I had been about my body in ages and I went for such a short time. I wish I had built up some more momentum with it. Losing my flexibility despite having none to begin with is the most frustrating thing.

Will my cracking knee improve, will Sam encourage me that my cracking knee *can* improve, or my right shoulder that has hurt ever since I had ro carry a backpack around the city, or anything else that is ailing me? I had resistance to the former name but if I want to get somewhere in life right now it is a no brainer to go back to that place with a rebranded name. They also have livestreaming classes now which is interesting because that was one of the perceived drawbacks for me of hot yoga: I felt like if I didn’t do it in a hot space I wasn’t getting any benefits. It is $30 for a week (or $40 if you want your plan to end after the week without automatic renewal but there is no commitment either way) or $160 for a month which makes no sense but it makes the decision to sign up for a week easy. Their schedule is more varied now and it looks like there is only one hot yoga class a day but now they have pilates and other interesting things to check out. I am actually so dying to go I think I might stay up to go to the 8 AM class. Better than sleeping even more when I’m sure I don’t need the sleep anyway. I just need to remind myself that it is totally okay to come to class and do nothing! I need to do as little as possible so as not to kill myself and… well, if in a month I feel less likely to kill myself just by moving, that is an improvement, and I do not know of anything else aside from lots of bodywork that could provide that benefit for me. Maybe now I am even beyond the hope of bodywork. Time to pay for that week of yoga.

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