Funny, sad, thought-provoking and crazy bumper stickers

It’s Monday afternoon and I still have a ton of things to do. But, it being Monday in particular, I feel I have to be caught up on the news from my dozens of sources. But it seems like it’s all bad news, or is that simply what I choose to read after looking at the headlines? I mean, I subscribed to CNN’s weekly Good News email, but I can’t remember the last time I opened it.

This morning at 5 just before I went to bed, I did some Internet resesrch and compiled a short list of highly amusing, and also revealing bumper stickers, actual sayings on the backs of cars. I can get highly irritated or angry, or laugh out loud when I’m stuck in traffic or st a stoplight behind a car with either one or two pungent stickers or a van or SUV plastered with every imaginable self-advertising quip you can imagine. Invariably, they reveal much more about the occupant of the driver’s seat than that person would ever think possible, and that’s what makes they so much fun or annoying and even enlightening: advertise to a tiny corner of the world your ignorance, stupidity, wit, cleverness and/or intelligence. On balance it’s probably about 50-50.

I’ve never put a sticker on the rear bumper or windshield of any of my cars because I tend to be super cautious and a bit paranoid. Also, they used to be nearly impossible to remove. Remember the futile attempts people or strangers made to tear them off? Decades ago I put a small 3×6 inch decal from The Nature Conservancy on my rear windshield and left it there for awhile, but living in the South I began thinking it might signify an environmental nutcase or activist within, although, as any of you who are familiar with The Nature Conservancy know, it’s one of the more conventional and conservative environmental organizations, whose main mission is to buy and protect rare or threatened ecosystems.

So anyway, after an hour of doom-scrolling bad news headlines today, ENOUGH!! Time to laugh or cry with these striking bon mots!

** This is the back of my car.

** Honk if you love peace and quiet.

** Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?

** I’m only speeding cause I really have to poop.

** Watch out for the idiot behind me.

** Be nice to America or we’ll bring democracy to your country.

** If you can read this im not impressed. Most people can read.

** Beware of people who have more than three bumper stickers on their car.

** I used to be cool.

** I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

** Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind to everyone.