Oswego

August 17, 2000

The past

Folly Beach,

8/17, 8 p.m.

Someone, oh so gently, implied recently that perhaps I dwell a bit too much in the past, and that is an interesting thought. But to that I have to say this: “Well, yes. I return to the past in my memory and recollections because I am, quite simply, “my past.” The future I have no way of knowing. The present is real enough, but evanescent, constantly in the process of becoming the past.

The here and now is all I am conscious of at this moment. But in the next instant, it is past. I live in this moment. But I live in the past, too. We all do. I live in the past because it is the sum total of all my experiences. It is what has made me into the person I am today. For better or worse.

So, I have a powerful and reverential regard for the past. I have the utmost respect for older people whose own histories are so rich with time and unique experiences because I know what it has taken to arrive where I am now. And, I am not even that old, yet.

At this moment I’m listening to waves crash upon the shore at Folly Beach. It is almost dark. I feel the warm sea breezes and the energy of the ocean. My thoughts precede, in some mysterious and rather unfathomable manner, the words that are flowing from my pen into the small notebook open before me.

When I reminisce or write about pleasant times in the past, I am pushing aside the present briefly to enjoy a few minutes of what once was. It is now present again as I remember and put myself back into certain scenes and situations. It’s less tangible, but no less real, because it happened.

(8/18 3 p.m. — For instance, if you look back to the earliest of my OD entries, the ones about Black Creek and Little Black Creek in southern Mississippi, as well as my first entry, “Back roads,” you will see what I am talking about. Rivers and creeks have had the most magical and mysterious influence on me all my life. Endlessly flowing. Slow currents of black or tea-colored water, imperceptibly moving. What lies around the bend? I can imagine myself sleeping out on a sugar-white sandbar on Black Creek on an October night under the stars and a full moon. Rivers are mystery. They all seek their source in the ocean. My past is full of river experiences, and they will always beguile and intrigue me. I will always seek ways to explore and know them.)

8/17 8 p.m. (continued) — Words and language connect me to this past of mine by allowing me to express and convey experiences and memories to others, or to myself. These fragments of events and experiences — and the thoughts, fears, joys, and sorrows associated with them — are inextricably woven into the person I am today. Thus, I am what I was, but in a slightly, hopefully more mature, guise.

Lonely rivers flow
To the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea
Lonely rivers sigh
Wait for me, wait for me
I’ll be coming home
Wait for me.

Unchained Melody
The Righteous Brothers

In spiritual terms, water is the sign of emotion. It’s rare that a man can write so clearly about his attachments in life, even more rare for him to recognize an abstract like an affinity for water.

Even as I type that, though, I am reminded of several men I have known, who have said they could never live anywhere but in the mountains. I once said that myself, now I love the ocean. But the mountains are nearby!

i talk about the past all the time, a lot of funny things have happened in my life.actually im glad i am finally olde enough & have memories interesting enough to write about,unlike when i was 19.

The present moment is a culmination of the past.

I have always loved that song! Your entry about being 12 and having the Chubby Checker album is what has endeared you to me. The description you gave was so vivid.

Know where Myrtle Beach is, but never heard of Folly Beach. Where is it? I’m with you, love to think of bygone days.

To forget our past, as we may have been so ungently reminded, is to repeat our history. Lessons and pleasures from the past continue to be more valuable.

i think that was me, dear one…in contemplating all you just spoke of…im long overdue for an entry 🙂

Willy & Wilma

August 18, 2000

The past is about all that’s left for me to talk about Myrtle Beach was so full, we couldn’t find a place for our motorhome. Went a few miles inland and a nice restaurant let us use their parking lot for the night

It’s a tricky balancing act between the past and present (and future, for that matter). I, for one, have to be vigilant about maintaining the balance.

Rivers are a big theme in my life too. I found this link and thought of you. (The midi music is cheesy, but the hymn is one of my favorites. http://www.tinchicken.simplenet.com/songs/gospel/gather.htm

The past itself is never the same. As we grow older and see more of the world, our perspectives change, and how we see the past changes. We learn something new from unchanging events that change in thought.

To deal with the past is necessary to be capable to go on. Especially if you have some not very nice experiences. But it is important not to dwell too much. Life is here and now.

Wish you a peaceful river ahead without too many bends.

The past is an integration of who we are. This takes me back, thank you Oswego

The past is, I believe, a symbiosis of what we want to be now, and what we will be in the future. Life moves in cycles; it feeds upon itself.

In the last several entries you seem to be able to become one with the elements,present oriented, blending into wind,light,water&sky at F.B.These recent entries are powerful&grounded.Cait.

Is it not true that we lived through what we did, to be able to see the story once more later on in life? +soft smile+ I think reliving the past is a good thing. And telling us about it is even better.

adrift

August 19, 2000

Life begins with one breath. We are all that has preceded before us. In acknowledging our past, we welcome its contribution to our present life experience. Life’s circle is one of continuous change~

August 20, 2000

I LOVE your travels to your past as you share glimpses of your life with us. Life to me is very much like the flow of a river. Water the essence of life~ A peaceful spot here along a river’s edge. *smile*

Amanda Cayhill

No need to defend your writings. They are forever beautiful.

Ok, I don’t agree totally but here’s a quotation I keep on my computer frame: “The purpose of life is infinite graditude to all things past and infinite service to all things future.” Uh, are they not the same?

“Slow currents of black or tea-colored water”–a beautiful phrase! This diary belongs to you, which means you write whatever your heart desires. cont.

I like knowing what’s really in another’s heart, be it feelings of the past, present or future. Love,

The past allows us to view the present with greater perspective, and allows us to have a more accurate idea of the future, To discount it’s vital role in life is to deny that life occurs at all…

Edelweis

April 12, 2002

This entry makes me think of Leibniz: He said, “The present is saturated with the past and pregnant with the future.” And I don’t remember who wrote this quote: “As hard as modern man strives to be free he is a slave chained to the past.” Rivers, creeks and the sea? Aren’t they the beginning and end of everything? Fascinating to look at and listen to and follow where they go? Take c

~seafarer

November 3, 2004

without the past, where would the present and the future be????? ………. 🙂