Scream My Name

Letting Spotify play whatever it wanted was maybe a mistake. Thomas LaRosa always makes me think of my ex. That wound is healing, but it’s not healed.

The other day, I passed someone at the store that smelled just like her. For a second I forgot that she lives in another state now with some other woman. Were they excited about opening day? Does her new girlfriend even like baseball?

I started this account because I was so desperate to talk about a dream I had. It was intense. It wouldn’t leave my body. I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone who knows me. It was too graphic, too much of a violation. I just wanted to scream into the universe. So I found this place and was relieved to have a place to scream.

But I forgot to write. And the dream has since dissipated. I can no longer feel the panic that gripped me. I can barely feel the echo of the memory of it.

I wonder if I’ll stick around here. It’s rare that I see anything through. I guess time will tell.