A little better (part 2)

I tried to explain something to Mitch tonight.

I feel as though I had no life before my trip. I remember all the things, thankfully…all the inside jokes and parties and moments at school. But I don’t feel like I’ve lived them. I’m absolutely terrified that I feel this way. That I don’t feel as though I’ve experienced the 17 years of my life. To me, my life started on Saturday, August 4th. I’m scared and I’m confused and I become nearly physically sick when my mind drifts to that thought. I do not know if it will ever leave me. I can’t imagine it ever leaving me. What happened to me? What is it about this trip that had this insane affect on me? I don’t like it! I don’t feel like I belong…I don’t feel like this is my home. I want this feeling to go away!

I hate it.

Mitch’s answer?

“So you feel like you’re starting your life over…so live it like that.”

(or something like that…I was trying hard not to throw up at that point. Yes, the feeling is THAT intense)

Somehow, those words that he said scared me more than anything ever has…