please dont speak

heh. eve said sorry for everything that happened. the fucking bitch. she knows as well as i do that this means nothing to me — and it would surprise me if it’d mean something to her. nothing she says can make it all better. she whispered secrets she promised not to tell, flirted with ruining my life by telling everyone what im really like and what really happened.
made me regret the last two years of my life, made me feel sick whenever i was at a place we’ve been to. made me feel like i’m worth nothing.

sorry can’t help that.

i cannot trust her ever again. i hope she realises that. i hope she knows she ruined everything that was ever between us. she fucking broke all the promises, and clawed right at my soul. this beautiful friendship, relationship, understanding we ever had. she made it feel fake.

i know i should stop writing about this. i should get on with my life and forget about it all. but it’s hard to do that when she’s being friendly one day, and being hatefull another day.
one split-second it seems like we’re alright again, and things are going back to normal… the next i just realise it will never come back again. and i should be happy for that.

i can’t think of anything that makes me feel better. i need something new and fantastic. i’d write about rolf, but there’s nothing to tell. he’s wonderful, and i love him, and he makes my life worthwile — but you probably know all of that.
it confuses me.