Rubbing my skin raw…

I’m scarred, broken and battered,
My strength has been questioned,
and my sanity maimed.
 
What made you think I could bounce back from this so easily?
That I could just sew up my own wounds and come crawling back to your embrace?
I need to feel safe,
I need to feel loved and right now, you aren’t the one to give that to me.
 
You complain that I don’t show enough affection,
How can I when your touch makes my skin crawl,
And I’m too busy counting the minutes until your next attack.
 
I never pictured I would be in this position,
I never pictured that I would be too weak to stand up for myself,
You’ve reduced me to something pitiful,
Something I never wanted to see myself become.
 
I’m scared of the future,
I’ve been with you for so long and you’ve made me feel so worthless that I don’t know if I can do this on my own.
 
Why do I put my own value in your hands?
That should be my doing!
 
You use my own disabilities against me,
Forcing me to question my own worth.
 
I can’t sit by and wait for you to realize just what you’ve done.
I can’t sit by and wait for the compassion to come back into your soul.
I can’t let you do this to me anymore.

This is the only safe place I can keep my thoughts. I’m glad I can come back to it when it’s needed.