To him, because I know he is out there, reading.

I’m in a place I’m quite comfortable. Despite my current MS flare-up, I’m content with my life. This brings to mind, the question, why now?

I’m happy with my personal life and I’m happy with work. What was said to be cluster headaches actually turned out to be a massive lesion. Scary shit, and scary when you have new insurance that has a pre-existing condition clause. But, I just have to take it one day at a time and hope it all works out.

The one shining beacon in my life is Steven. I can’t even begin to say how amazing he is. When I have no one to turn to in this world, on this coast, he’s there, to swoop me up and carry me on his shoulders and show me more compassion than I have ever known. I know I’m a better person because of him. He makes me strive to be a better lover, a better girlfriend, a better human being. He may have his rough edges, but it’s only on the outside. He really is a sparkling gem and I’m sooo incredibly lucky to radiate in his luster, even if it turns out to be a short while. I am madly, head over heels, in love with him and it’s so overwhelming and consuming I’m drinking it up like water. He’s my saving grace, when these meds have me in a deep dark hole of depression I realize that I have a future and the knowledge that my future can be with him, is enough to save me. I know I’m responsible for saving myself, but I just wish he really knew how much I cared. I know, with him, I never have to live in fear of being hurt, of being intimidated, or of being physically/emotionally abused. I believe he is my soul mate and I can’t wait to see how this whole story plays out and even if he’s just a short chapter in my life, I’m willing to embrace that but I really feel like his reign will last several chapters.

I hope he reads this and knows how much he really means to me.

I love you, Steven. You really are a knight in shining armor.

-Desiree