Total Eclipse Of The Heart

Well Saturday was crazy I worked 10am-6:30pm and then went catering in this Lawyers house serving apps…..till 12am……..that was $15 and hour and the lady of the house really liked me so she tipped me $50. I I am going to do something like that this Sunday too but for like 8 hours. Its always $15 an hour when they want servers out side of my work. I love rich people….lol.

Well that was the good stuff now to bad shit. I broke up with Livia. I want a boyfriend and I no she or he is not willing to share and I dont expect that from either of then. It is not fair to Livia that I ended it this way but I dont think it was time for a relationship like this. I am not ready to be tided down to a girl I just fool around with girls and have relationships with guys. I am bi but not gay thats the problem. Bi is a VERY confusing thing. Been they way since 12 yrs old. We should have just stayed friends………like we have for about 9 yrs now. Should never ruin anything like that. She said not to long ago that she was not sure if she loved me after like 4 months and years of friendship. I dont even see her much…..Not like I dont want to but it is so hard. We are just better off this way. I would love to be friends but this e-mail kind of got me pissed……..She PLAYED MIND GAMES with me………..LOOK:

Ok so here’s what I decided. FIRST: delete this now if you’re going to. moving on, I decided that I’m going to need some time alone, with no contact between us what so ever. Let me just say one thing. This hurt like a fucking bitch, I’ve had 2 hours of sleep, my eyes are RED as fuck and I have bags under my eyes from crying. So, pretty much, when you’re ready to have a normal friendship with me and not play mind games or any of this bullshit, you can email me or call me or whatever. You know where I am. I’m not going to chase you down because clearly you don’t want me and you made your decision so this is the consequence. Honestly, if you think you’ll be better off with someone who gives you cocaine, drinks with you and smokes up with you all the time, go ahead. Anyways, when you’re ready, you know where to find me….
bye

I never played mind games she did…….tell lme she wanted to in letters when I first told her that I liked her for like 7 yrs and say she wanted to kiss me and told me she ould ONLY do it behind closed doors and when we where alone she never did. That hurt. When I wanted to go out with her she was like I am not sure and then started seeing this girl Season and that fuckening KILLED me. When she broke up with her she asked ME out and like 2 weeks later she dumped me cuz she said she was not over her and then went out with someone else……UMMMMMMMMMMM mind games RIGHT there.

Sorry I hurt you Livia BUT dont say mind games when you no dam well I NEVER did. Also Dan is the one I do that shit with Paul is just always there……..he does do some of the shit but me and Dan are the ones out of control. Also I cant handle Kim and ther shit between her and Liv. What a mind boggling then it is.  Anyways talk to me when you are READY. Still Love you…Good bye my Princess.

Amy Nicole Ashley