Day 14.
It all started with that shot that Christiana gave us. I shouldn’t have drank it, I was fine before then, didn’t have any intention to drink. But once I had it, I wanted a beer… when we got to Dave and Busters, everybody else was ordering drinks so I thought, “what the hell…” I had the two that I planned on having then we went for dinner. At dinner everybody ordered a drink so I thought I can too. At this point the flood gates were open. I can’t remember how many I had, and I don’t remember anything from the time we went to grab our coats at coat check till this morning. I feel so horrible. I feel like I let Nicole down, and I let myself down. At this point I don’t want to show myself in public, I feel like a disgrace.
I am not going to drink again. I realize I have a problem and I am powerless over it. The only way is to just avoid it all togeather, not even a taste. For a taste just opens the flood gates for failure.
Music of the Moment: Silence
Today I Feel: Disappointed, embarrased, ashamed, pitiful.
awww…i know what it’s like to cave like that…it hurts, but you know you still have people who are supporting you and that will help you get back on your feet. you just had a misstep, and there will be a few of those, but just keep your head up and if you’re determined to get what you need to done, you will, because you know what you have to do, and if you really want it, you’ll get it. ttyl
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