I can’t believe it

Haven’t written in a hellva long time.  Mostly because of that crash, it pissed me off that I lost all that “effort”.    What can I say…. holy shit, I am shocked…. was I dreaming?  REALLY was I?

Krystal… (yes that name again) we hung out on friday the first time we have really talked in over 4 months… she admitted of all the people she has missed since she left Pickering, she missed me the most.  She said she missed my mom, and Pauline.  It meant a lot to me…  We went dancing at system soundbar…. we were having a TOTAL blast like we usually do.  She kissed me…. I was SO SHOCKED.  I thought we were done, completely.  She said “we just feel so right.” I couldn’t believe my ears.  Was she joking?  I don’t know what to think… we were drinking, I talked to her the next day and she said it was 100% geniune.  I fucking love that girl.  I can see myself with her foever.  Read my diary from years ago and it states the same thing.

I have also been thinking of breaking up with Nicole.  Has nothing to do with Krystal, I was thinking about it before… we just don’t click deep enough mentally… she is hot physically… .but mentally, she is not what I want.  Krystal is…. we click so fucking well it is amazing.  But also for the first time in my life I have cheated on somebody, but it didn’t feel like cheating, since I really wanted to be with Krystal more… on the other hand if I was with Krystal and cheated with Nicole I would feel HORRIBLE.  But I don’t feel so bad… I feel guilty, but I really like Krystal…  Nicole and I are suppose to go out tomorrow… will we?  I don’t know… I have to end it…

Side note we won our soccer game tonight… we are now 1-2….. our first win, it’s a start.

Been working my ass off….. Carissa is pissing me off hardcore, I don’t talk with her at all… she nailed the final nail in the coffin… fuck her.

I still can’t believe Krystal said those things… she was pure geniune with them too… I know her inside out, and she had that look in her eyes… I couldn’t believe it… don’t worry I am preceeding with caution… she hurt me before…  but she is a little older now… maybe she saw what I saw 2 years ago… she is at that age I was when we started dating a few years back.  *sigh*  She is beautiful….

Music of the Moment:  Muse – Endlessly
Today I Feel: Fucking great….