ONE Year
One year ago today I was hung over for the last time. That seems so long ago now. So much has changed. It is amazing how eliminating one little thing from my life has changed me so much. A year ago I felt like I was running in circles and going no where in life. I felt like everything was working against me. I was grumpy, bitter, tired and well… miserable. I can now say quitting drinking is one of the best decisions I have ever made. Not only do I feel better physically, but mentally I have clearer thoughts and I finally feel in control of my life.
I am not going to lie and say I am never tempted to have a drink, because that simply wouldn’t be true. I always enjoyed the social aspect of drinking. It is just now I have learned I can have the same experience without a drink in my hand. The problem with me (and pretty much everybody else on this site) is, once I have a drink my body screams for more and I can’t resist it. Of course I am referring to the AV or Addictive Voice. Over time, people were seeing less of the real me and more of the AV version of me. The AV was slowly killing the real me and locking me deep inside of myself. Quitting is essentially learning to control the AV. You will never kill it, it is part of you, but you can learn to control it. Now, if I am ever tempted to have a drink, I just remember all the crap that comes along with it.
Drinking is similar to an ex-girlfriend, when you look back you may only think of the good times. You may even forget why you broke up and think it would be a good idea to give her another shot. When you dig a little deeper, you remember why you broke up…she was a crazy psycho bitch…but hey, the sex was great! The AV and drinking are very similar; you will remember all the great things about it and forget the bad, even when the bad far out weighted the good. The key is to never forget the bad. It all happened for a reason.
I feel my life is headed in a positive direction now. While drinking I honestly felt like I was living the same day over and over again. I was grumpy at work, thinking it was the job and the people around me. I would live for the time at the pub or at home drinking while watching a game on TV. When I stopped drinking, I didn’t mind my job (for the most part) and I am far more calm/relaxed around others. I was the problem, not everything around me. Life didn’t revolve around beer anymore, I felt free.
One thing is disappointing after quitting drinking. I don’t go out as much anymore and less people call me. However, I have learned that 95% of those people were nothing more than drinking buddies. So naturally they would fall out of my life if I stopped drinking. They will move on to new drinking buddies and I can progress to developing real friendships not centered on the pint glass.
I have saved a few thousand dollars in the past year. Nothing has changed in my spending habits except now I don’t drop $20 a night on beer at a pub. It adds up I guess. I have even been paying $250 more a month in rent than I was when drinking and I am still saving money. Crazy.
Anyway I would like to thank everybody for the support, especially Loves2Read, she was always supportive and has helped a great deal in my journey. The year went by quite quickly and for anybody who is thinking of quitting; You won’t regret it, it is the best thing you could do for yourself and the people around you. It may seem impossible to comprehend a life without alcohol; the key is just to take it one day at a time. Before you know it, you will have a good number of days/months/years under your belt, which in turn will help you on your journey. The first few months were a time of adjustment and were tough, but if I can do it so can you. You just have to really want change.
Music of the Moment:
Today I Feel: Awesome