NoJoMo Challenge!!
More Drama
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Lexie and Dan are fighting again. I am playing referee for them. It’s interesting. They’re fighting because while they were fighting he lied and made a tape where he says that he slept with another woman. And then he is trying to say that he didn’t actually sleep with her, that he only recorded the tape to hurt Lexie when they both thought they were going to get divorced. Now they are fighting again. Oh, the humanity!
Joey is trying to make plans to see me tomorrow night. He’s talking about renting a suite at this really posh hotel for us, with a hot tub and champagne and everything. Which sounds really romantic and I would love to stay the night with him but I don’t know. My mother would find out. She’s become like a f*cking watchdog or something, checking my phone, calling me at all hours to see where I am. It’s so aggravating! I wanna be with Joey. I really do and that’s scary.
I’ve known this guy a couple of weeks and I already feel so close to him, it’s scary. He listens to me, he talks to me. He understands me and what he doesn’t understand he just accepts as being part of me. He talks about buying me stuff, including a new car. He wants to buy me a truck, like the one he drives. It’s insane. I don’t want him to buy me anything! Well, maybe some flowers…or some jewelry. Jewelry is always nice. ;D But if he starts buying me things it’ll feel like he’s buying me, you know? Like he is trying to pay me and I don’t want to feel cheap like that.
I don’t want a Sugar Daddy. I want a boyfriend, a really serious boyfriend. Someone who I can fall in love with and who will actually love me in return. I want real love. I want someone to wake up with, someone who I can introduce to my family and I don’t have to sneak around with and pretend I don’t know him so VERY well, including how much he gets turned on when you lick his ear just right….lol…I know, you guys didn’t need to hear that but I just wanted to say it. That’s how well I know him…he didn’t even know that his ear could be so sensitive until I had him shaking with need, grabbing me and….fill in the blanks. Tehehehehe….*satisfied smirk* Yeah, my life may get really complicated but I’ll always have that memory. It’s good. It’s real good.
Wow….that was 2 years ago….over 2 years ago really, almost 3. Good lord. I was so young! And really foolish. It’s such a weird thing to look back and remember all the stuff that was going on then. And I have such a bad memory anyway that I really don’t remember these things unless I go back and read what I wrote down forever ago. Joey…man that brings back memories. A lot of them very unpleasant but I can’t really say that I regret my decision to be with him. I learned a lot from the experience, about myself and about others and about who my real friends are.
And I can now stand there and tell other people not to do what I did, don’t mess around with a married man! LMAO!! But I had fun and I have some good memories. It wasn’t all that bad really until the end. And I’m sure he probably has a lot of regrets now that his wife left him and took the kids. But that’s his bed and he made it knowingly so he has no one to blame but himself. It was also what started me down the path to sexual self-discovery, a road I am still walking down and that I am quite ok with walking down.
I’m rambling a little now. I’m tired and distracted. I have a ton still left to study for my test but the sad thing is I’ve been studying for hours (or days really if you want to be technical about it). I don’t want to take this stupid test!!! But I feel ok with some of the material. Now if only more of the test would be what I know but it probably won’t.
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…Stay positive!!!
~*~*~Blessed Be~*~*~