Mature content

WARNING:
DUE TO THE GRAPHIC NATURE OF THIS ENTRY, VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

FADING (Must be something in the water)

I can’t escape this feeling that keeps creeping over me
Blinded by my tears, my success I just can’t see
I can’t seem to hold a relationship
Yet at times I can’t be alone,
I’m desperate now, with no one to turn to
No place to call home.
“I try to stay high, so I can get by
on their superficial smiles,
though inside, I’m dying all the while…”
Some people try to help me, they wonder how I am
But no one can help me, not even me,
So why bother giving a damn?!
I habitually hurt the ones I love, and love the ones I hurt,
Hiding away my problems with a long-sleeved shirt.
Nineteen years old, and idealist I’m told,
So why all the needles in my arms?!!
Only death can await me on this dead-end road
still I say there’s no need for alarm.
“I ignore my reflection
can’t stand the sight of my face;
A fucked-up addict
I’m such a case!”
My flesh is melting off my bones
I can’t convince myself to stay,
A constant reminder I tell to myself,
‘Better to burn out, then fade away’…

© Sasha Nova Platz All Rights Reserved.

Note:
This was written at a very very low point in my life. It was the breaking point for me, and I realized while I wrote this that I wanted to live. I’ve been clean ever since, and in retrospect feel as if I’ve been reborn. I was wrong, I could help myself, and I did.