An Actual Entry
My life… well, life is kinda looking up I think. I’ve hung out with the same guy I mentioned in my last entry at least a million times since then. In fact, we’re going to a movie tonight. I haven’t slept with him yet, which is a fucking miracle considering my track record. His name is Shannon and he’s super super sweet. There’s one thing that’s bothering me though… he is bald. Yeah, you heard that right. He had cancer when he was 16 and it never grew back on the top of his head. He wears a hat all the time so you can’t tell, but I know it’s there. Part of me wants to be a superficial bitch, but the other part of me really likes him… so yeah, that’s my superficial deilema. He’s a good looking guy otherwise. So I mean… I don’t know… Bah. I don’t want to have him be the rebound guy either… I’m just gonna take it slow for now I think.
My friends Mike and Jen are moving up to Ottawa from back home [Peterborough] and they’re moving into my building. I’m okay with that, I guess… except their mine and Dave’s only mutal friends and now they’re gonna be here in Ottawa… which I don’t like. Like Dave is helping them move so it means that I can’t, because I don’t want to see him. Like, ever again, if it can be helped. So yeah, I have a feeling the drama is about to start. *sigh* And I was happy living here kinda alone. Bah.
I don’t know what to think. I mean, I can’t just hang out with Dave yet… I’m not completely over him, even though I don’t want him back at all. Like, I just don’t want to be reminded of what I had ya know? And the fact that he has a new girlfriend [and she’s 20, btw] already is sickening. I was replaced so quickly ya know? He never shead one single tear for me. Because I’m not worth it I guess. So, I guess I’m just hurt and really angry… to think that my best friend in the whole world just kind of dropped me like a hat and didn’t look back. And over something really stupid. But what can I do? It’s over.
So when I said life was kinda looking up, I think I actually meant it’s still as shitty as ever. But what can I do? If there’s one thing I know about life is that it goes on… unfortunately.
It’s really hard to maintain sanity when around an ex, especially when the breakup is still “fresh”. I still have a hard time being around Josh, and that was a LONG time ago. And Thomas wants to hang out and really I haven’t seen him since we broke up (just shortly after we broke up) And I really don’t want to see him now because regardless of what an asshat he is and how much I really am repulsed by him, the fact that he hurt me and he broke up with me still bothers me. I guess it’s hard hey? I ‘m glad you’re seeing this new guy though. that’s awesome! 🙂
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Things will get better, babygirl.
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i am glad things are looking better for you i been preying for you ( hey get on your myspace and look at my kids new pics)
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Yay for the new boy! I don’t like bald either.
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Well, you can’t help them move in, but you can take them out on their first day there (of course, I may be late with this advice)… Congrats on Shannon, it’s making me want to find a man who’ll see me a million times between OD entries. Dave was a child. Remember that. Plus, his new gf is probably a rebound which is why he’s “coping” so well. PLUS, you don’t know that he didn’t shed a tear.
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