you’re living like a disaster

i didn’t think it was possible to be this sad.

it’s like every part of my body is falling apart. every muscle aches, every bone cracks and splinters with the weight of everyday movement. my stomach is constantly upset, my brain isn’t functioning. i can’t remember anything. i can’t even remember to feed my dog.

i sleep because it’s all i can handle. every second i’m not working, i’m in bed and every second i’m at work, i’m wishing for the clock to hurry up so i can crawl into bed. i’ve never slept this much in my life.

every task seems daunting and impossible. i have no clean laundry. showering is like climbing a fucking mountain-i sit curled up and will myself to wash something until the water runs cold.

i can’t bring myself to care what it would do to people if i died anymore. killing myself just seems like an impossible task, like everything else.

random_deathwish

January 9, 2011

I know that feeling…and it hurts to the core more than you ever thought possible, in the kind of way you figured was reserved for movies and bad country songs? It’ll get better, maybe not immediately, and not without effort but it will. There’s more than one reason you’re not dead, more than likely.

Pretty in Punk *

i found you on the front page, im sorry to read that your feeling so sad 🙁 x

.stars.

January 10, 2011

i know what this is like. to collapse the second you walk in the door. to be in bed and NOT. CAN’T. EVEN. MOVE. EVER. even the thought of moving makes you so tired you could sleep for years. i don’t wish this on anyone. especially you. xoxoxoxp