Laundry day, weak and sleepy

On my third day of a desperation detox. Just juice and some organic veggie soup. A slight headache, yes, but water weight is gone and I’m happy with the flattening of my gut. Also, third day of no coffee so I’m tired, weak, and grumpy until mid-day when my third juice drink kicks in.

I was just reading facebook posts from my ex-boyfriend. We don’t talk much, just once in a while to say hey. He’s pretty much been all over the world since we broke up, and he didn’t even have a passport when I met him. He is headed to Ireland and Spain for 3 weeks at the end of the month. Of course, a part of me is jealous of his travels. Of course, I’d love to be able to go everywhere and spend all I have, not worrying about anything else I might ever have to do.

But, there is a part of me who likes being settled, building savings, thinking about having babies and getting old. I swear my knees started hurting yesterday just before the rain. That, I said, makes me officially on the Old Road. So, I’m happy for Jon and his adventures. I think of our trips to Yosemite, Napa, Phoenix, and it was always good. Apparently, I also inspired him to travel the world, and that makes me realize why we broke up. That while we were great friends, deep down we had different priorities.

I do what I can, what I can afford, and Costa Rica is only 2 weeks away. It isn’t Europe, but I have a feeling it will be something else amazing. Chris and I need to get out and do something. Our lack of having anything in common frustrates me once in a while. We started running together, going to the gym 3 times a week. That helps a little bit, and it helps with the belly. I signed us up for a 5k at the end of September, and I do think that will help the weight come off. I’ve been trying to do it with diet alone, and I know that my body has always responded to running when I want to get thin again. So, I’m running again. Starting that whole thing again. And this time, neither of us are giving up until we see that finish line. And I see the number I want on the scale.