Okay…

i need to talk about this now.  i need to get it out.

my life is not at all what i thought it was going to be 2 years ago.  here’s a few things that are different…

2 years ago i thought:

– i was going to be proposing to the love of my life
– i was going to be graduating that following may so that i could get a job and help support the love of my life through college
– i was getting a music degree for the fun of it (more or less)
– i was going to have a great life

here’s where i am now:

– i am now alone (no thanks to a roommate…)
– i live with my parents
– i have a job, but i hate it (try working in a credit dept and tell me what you think.  not so fun.  i’m just glad its a temp job)
– i spent an extra year in school, which now has left me with over $50,000 worth of debt (i realise actually, that this could be ALOT worse)
– i have mental problems i still have yet to discover…
– through a twist of events, my life has been thrust into pursuing a career as an opera singer (which, in retrospect isn’t too bad, especially considering what some singers get paid!)
– i’m still overweight (which, to be honest, isn’t a plus or a minus… however i’m pretty sure that if i want to be a serious opera singer, i need to drop the pounds)

now, i am not blaming anything on past events or peoples.  however i do realise that the events that did occur have definately changed my life… maybe not in a good way, yet… 

after reading what i’ve written so far, i think this entry does little justice to what i am trying to figure out in my head right now. 

as of right now, i have no control over anything that goes on in my life (at least it seems this way).  i have very little time to do the things i NEED to do.  right now i need to be practicing and having voice lessons once or twice a week with my voice teacher… speaking of which, i need to call him soon!

so much to memorize, so much to learn, and i have no time.  how to i tell my boss i can’t stay if he wants me to?

i’ll probably write more later on this… i have to organize my thoughts best i can, and i can’t think of a better place to do it.

– noah