yeah, i need a hobby…

i am so bored right now.  i have little to do at work at the moment.  the problem is, they don’t let us use messengers here… which if you think about it is silly because communication could be so much quicker if they unified it to a chat system (there is a chat system built into our main program we use, J.D. Edwards…  however you have to be looking at that program to get it.  close it and *zing!* you miss it.

reading diaries, i remember why i like my favorites the best.  seems to me that there are many people here that are on some kind of fashion kick…  if you want fashion, go to xanga…

the reason people are in my favorites is because of the range they have (usually).  i like being able to read people’s thoughts; not only in paragraphs, but in poems, song lyrics and stories.  so much of a person is told in their creativity.  so what does that mean about creativity of the upcoming younger generations?  *shrugs*

and the more i read of my favorites, there are some that stand out.  things these people write that make my heart pang with: grief, joy, sadness, elation, and even love.  its as if the emotions i am kept from at this time in my life are vicariously being played out by reading other’s.  *laughs* to be honest, thats a bit absurd… but its the truth.  and for right now, i’m okay with that.  could be worse, could be living through another maija… (although, i seriously think i wouldn’t live through another maija… i just don’t think i could handle it mentally… but thats another topic). 

at least this way i don’t get hurt, and i’m there (sort of) for other people (or, i like to think that i am… maybe i’m not).  i’ve often said to my sister when she asks me why i do for my friends what i do… “i would rather be broke by helping my friends than spend it on the frivolous things i would buy.  and either way, i’m gonna be broke.”

however, sometimes it bites me in the butt.  my friend got laid off a week or so ago.  so i started helping him look for a job and got his resume to our HR person here at Flow.  the problem is, he didn’t/doesn’t have a phone (he waited so long to pay it, they disconnected it).  so i gave him $250 to pay for the bill…  however, last night he told me apparently he’d let it go so long, he has to start a new service. *smacks forehead*  of course, he doesn’t have the money to start a new service, and i’m sure as hell not giving him any more money (sorry…).  he could have bought a cell phone and had service last week with the $250…  then again, its another bill taken care of that won’t drag down his credit… (i’m ranting, beware) i get so frustrated with him. 

this is the same friend that i stopped talking to a while ago because he wouldn’t come and visit (silly, i know, but when you get ditched more than 5 times, you’d get a little angry too…  then again, it might just be me).  so then this weekend, he calls me on saturday (during the party) and says, “Hey, I’m bored.  Wanna come down?”  um… no fuck-head.  you’re supposed to be up here at the party.  “what party” my sister’s surprise b-day party, “you didn’t tell me about any party” yes i did, when i came down for the doctor’s appointment.  “well, i didn’t remember.” well, if you’re bored, just come up and hang out with us.  we’re having a good time!  “yeah, i might.  but i gotta go home and clean the appartment, then i gotta get some laundry done… *moves hand* blah blah blah blah.”  okay, you do those things.  bye.

and i hung up.  maybe i’m overreacting.  doesn’t feel like it though.

anyway, i should end this entry before it gets any worse.

– noah

p.s. kudos if you made it too the end.  i’ll try and think of a prize for those of you who did…  it’ll be something good, i think…